♥Daily Blog: Right Eye

My right eye has been acting weird on me lately.

Two nights ago I was freaked out.

Apparently, I can see with my left eye but my right eye...nothing.

It was blurry and..yeah...

The lights were off and i usually can see in the dark. However, this time, only my left eye can see.

I was so scared...

Am I going to be blind soon...?

I'm also...losing a lot of weight...what's going on? I eat more than before, that's for sure. But...I'm losing weight rather than gaining one pound.

Sleepless nights?

Or...



Depression.
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"You have to entertain your man."

Entertain..? I'm no fun, so i can only be loved if i'm fun?

Or maybe I am fun, when serious things are settled.

If I have to entertain him to keep him, forget it. If I have to be fun in order to be loved, then forget it.

I am a fun person to be with...when i can trust that person, when a person makes me happy...

I respond to how that person treats me as.

I don't want to have to do anything to have someone love me. I want to be loved while I'm in the emotion I'm in. I want to be loved even when I'm depressed, angry, overly happy, etc.

I want to be loved for the good things that make up who I am. And for the flaws that I carry, give me a reason to be someone better. Bend to my needs, love me and slowly my reactions to the good things the person does for me will be better...

Eventually...eliminating most flaws...

The only flaws that will be with me forever may be my overly worried trait, temper when deeply hurt, and sensitivity.

After...going from girl to girl...
I realized that I am just....someone he ended up with because he could have me.

I'm not his perfect imperfect person. He never truly loved me.

He went out with me because I returned his feelings. But...I wasn't his biggest crush in his life...he ended up with me because he could have me.

I went out with him not only because he returned my feelings, but because i grew to like him more each day...i didn't go out with him just because I could have him...

There was more to that. Furthermore, he was the only person i had feelings for.



My future...remains unknown now.