♥Daily Blog: More on the Shoulders

Many times lately...i feel as though he likes to hurt me on purpose....

He hurts me on purpose already...and now he seems to enjoy it...

Knowing that i like him to share things with me...he starts sharing things in a way that's like rubbing them in my face...

I'm in trouble with money right now...50 dollars li xi is very little. When he told me he used to get 500+ bucks...i feel even worse...

It's the way he puts it...i mean...i don't mind him sharing that with me...but...he's only thinking of himself.

He could have said "I got 500+ a few years ago. That's how much you deserve to get, too."



That would be sharing and not rubbing. Then again...that wasn't his intention...he's just disappointed that he doesn't have any extra money this year.

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He's not going to change, he no longer makes any special day special.
No longer does he settle things like he used, no longer does he care about how i feel
No longer is he interested about my days

He's back in school, and...he's not just watching movies.

He's looking into UCI...

And, he's only hanging with me..once a week now.

I don't even...recognize this relationship anymore...

My future is unknown now...undecided...

I had so much hope...thought that he and I would be taking philosophy together later on...thought that everything would be fine...thought that he did improve...thought that the relationship was going somewhere...

I thought there was a bright future...

I let go of my own dreams and form new dreams that included him...

I let go of uc's and wanted to go to the junior college he was attending...
planning to graduate with him...

I had that much...

But all along...he left me out of his dreams. He's going to UCI...

And...this relationship is going downhill as it is already...

I'm the only one who tried to patch things up....

After being pricked by the needle i used...

my heart just...tears into pieces...

I completely...threw...away everything...just to be with him..

I trusted him, thought it was okay...

I don't have anything left.