♥Daily Blog: A Loss

As each year passes by and I grow a year leader, I start to hear about more people dying.

I screwed up my tests today, so I guess "bye-bye" UC. Eh, seems to me the harder I study, the harder I work...

I do worse on my tests.

4th period was chill. We had a "written" final.

Well, anyway...a classmate of mine lost her mother on Tuesday night - the night before the finals.

So this classmate of mine is the one who scratched me and stuff during freshman year...but anyhow...

I suddenly felt so empty at the moment I heard it. I almost cried. Thing is...I never knew her mother, and she and I aren't even friends.
But yeah...

Can you imagine losing your mother while you're still in high school? I can't even imagine losing my mother right now.
We just never know what will happen the next minute, the next second, the next day. All we could ever do was assume that the person will still live the next day.

My mother lost her mother when she was nine years-old.

It's sad that....many times we don't really improve ourselves until something BAD happens.
A few hours ago, I started to wonder if he would change if I died. Obviously, there's ALWAYS something out there that will move us in an instant.
But yeah, I started to wonder if he would appreciate me when I'm no longer living.
And what's worse is, what if I died at the time when he was with other women?

Maybe he thinks I'm crazy to be giving like "wheelchair" examples and what not. But, if we think about it, anything can happen.
I give him all these examples that are possible to happen and let him know that I'll be there.
But...he probably just doesn't care.

Okay, now wouldn't it be an epic fail if one attemps to suicide but ends up still alive? Yeah, horrible.

A girl from Jordan jaywalked today. She got hit by a car and was bleeding on the face and all over the bottom. I heard she smokes too, so yeah...that brain of hers must have a little dilemna at that time.

Anyway, I hear all these stories in one day, and I feel as though people who are dying nowadays just die from a horrible accident or horrible disease.

Obviously, she broke the rules and she ended up hurting physically with a high chance of dying.

Now, let me relate the breaking of the rules to another thing.

Every person has their own set of rules. When those rules are violated, one can get extremely hurt on the inside.

Look at the accident today. Look at the situation.

That's how bad and painful someone can feel...when their values are being violated.

Breaking rules lead to physical pain and possible chance of dying. (in this case, the street rules)

Violating one's values and feelings lead to emotional pain and who knows what else.

Now, when it comes to love, two people should understand each other's values. If one value contradicts the other, well....something needs to be done.

If you really love that person, you would feel really hurt...knowing that you hurt that person.
But you know...like i said in my poem yd....i don't think ppl know what love is anymore.

Anyway, i guess i'm not making myself clear on the analogy and stuff...eh...too tired...

Oh yeah...freaken Dad put Miki in a box in the garage. Is he like a freaken dog killer? Bad air trapped inside the garage..not only that but miki's in a box?

And if we don't let him put miki in like that, he's going to take Miki and throw him in some city.

gah...maybe when i move out, i'll take my dog with me -_- then it's kinda hard to find a place that would allow me to keep pets..