♥Daily Blog: Aishiteru

Blog/Thoughts in the Free Verse Form:

Having a crush is similar to a cocaine rush
That's why you're addicted to your crush
And it explains the withdrawal you feel
When the relationship is over

Sometimes it gets hard
Sometimes it may feel like the end
But for us, remember that it never is
Ever.
As long the flame stays burning,
Anything...can be fixed

Any so-called material thing that you want
Is merely a symbol;
You want it not for itself
But because it will content your spirit at the moment

I know this
Because that's what I do when I'm broken
Buying materials, buying things
Hoping that I can ignore the pain for just a little while

Materialistic love is not a love that is primary
When will you understand?
When can you see that the love I have for you
Is far more stable and true than you can ever imagine?

Materialistic love is just an addition to the primary love
The primary love is the love that is true
The base of the love has to be based on caring about the other person
The base of the love is to want the other person happy with you

One day, you will understand.
I pity you, however.
For someday you will understand but will regret
Because I may be not there with you anymore

Pushing me away by only sticking to what you want
When that day comes, you'll understand the love that I've given you
When you age, you will also age in the mind
Someday, you'll understand it all

You see, materialistic love is love where lovers show their love through gifts
Not feelings
Yes, I do love the materials
But I would rather have the true concept of love first

You see, money will be earned from time to time
The time that I have cannot be earned back
Each time I make you a card, each time I write you a letter
I'm giving in my energy, my sleep, my thinking

I'm giving all that DIRECTLY to you.
I don't expect a lot from you
In fact, I seem to be happier when you give me a letter instead
A card, something handmade by your own hands

Yet I realize that you don't appreciate the things that I write to you, do for you
The 5000 dollars isn't more than what I have given you
Perhaps in money, it is more
But in form of love, what I have given you is something more valuable

After all, I can always get a cell phone from someone else
The materials you give me can be replaced with the same materials that someone else gives me
But the card I made for you, the things I write to you
Those things can't be replaced. No one can really make the exact and genuine copy.

The things I give you are special.

I guess I don't blame you for being so stubborn
Love nowadays has become materialistic
You see that everywhere
You are oblivious to see the real concept of love

It's sad
Nowadays, "love" is nothing but a marketing scheme
There are no real emotions behind it anymore other than
"Oh, I love this person, what can I BUY for them to show them?"

I think that only less than one percent of the people today can truly explain the concept of "love"
I'm one of them
Other than this 0.05 percent of the people, I don't think there's a person left today that can truly explain the concept of "love"
Without tossing in something related to mass marketing

True love is out there
Just very rare
If that's the case, maybe I'll never be able to get married
I have found someone I truly love, but that person doesn't truly love me

And I have found someone whom I deeply care for,
Whenever I look at him, I would imagine what life would be like with him
I try to find a way that would stop me from loving him
I realize that there is no way because my love is unconditional

So even if he grows old one day
He'll still be the most handsome guy to me
Even if he's at his worst
Like the time when he had an asthma attack and his face was very hard to recognized
I wasn't afraid of him, I stayed by his side

When he had a bad haircut, I didn't stop loving him
Even when he hurt me in feelings...
I still love him...

Someday, he'll understand
Someday, he'll see
Even if the wife takes care of him
She won't be too happy waking up each day
That is, if there's a second best person for him

Overall, though
There isn't another girl out there who will be as forgiving as I am
There are guys out there who long for their lovers to forgive them
Even when they truly will repent, the ladies just won't forgive

If he has a need and a want to be with me at all..
He should have been happy that I'm still staying with him
He should at least realize how lucky he is
That he's given a chance to fix things, whereas others may not even have the chance

A long time ago, my friend told me
"Just so you know, it's best for you to be with someone who isn't ill.
It's too much to do if you have someone who's ill."
I totally disagree, though.
I love the guy a lot, even if it means that I will be the main one responsible for him in the future
I wouldn't mind as long as he and I are very happy together

If you love someone, you shouldn't complain doing things for them.
If one day he comes home and is too tired to cook, I'll make instant noodles for him
I won't complain that I don't have anything homemade to eat.
Because he would have cooked for me on other days. I would understand if he's tired.

But okay, enough fantasy
I think I have strayed away from my poetic form
Bad bad bad
Okay, back in focus

I guess, in the end,
I'm giving him the love that I wish to receive it
Of course, I am poor and am a lady
I like to do the many little things for him

It's normal for the man to shower his lover with materials, etc.
But it is SPECIAL and confirms the real love you have for her
If you actually care about her feelings
She lets you choose what kind of electronic stuff to get her
She knows that you know best when it comes to that area

You let her pick when you decide
Basically, you pick first, and then she'll choose from your choices
As long as you acknowledge her opinions, she's happy
She wants to tame you, not control you.
Her definition is to have you understand her and at least bend to her needs

She's not asking to control you
She just wants you to love her the way she wants to be loved

Even if you let her to handle the money
Even if you tell her that she doesn't have to ask you when she spends
Most of the time, she'll ask you beforehand

It's like...I am the boss and he is my agent

Materialistic love isn't stable. It's not true love.
If you run out of money, how is she gonna love you?
But see, I would love you when you're rich, when you're poor
The love that i have is real
Because the love that I have is true
I just want to be with you, through thick and thin

All I ever wanted was for you to truly love me
But I can't force that
I want to be comfortable with you, but I can only be comfortable when I know that the person loves me the same in return

Now I feel uncomfortable, mainly because everytime that I'm next to you now, I know that there are other girls that you've been talking to
I know that there are other girls that you're pursuing
That you're hanging with

I just want to be the only one
I want to be enough
I want to be pursued by you

But in the end, he chose girls over me
If he had chosen me, if he had truly loved me
Talking to only me, hanging with only me
Should have never been a problem.

If you want to be with me, make me comfortable
Love me tenderly
Love me truly
Always be careful with my feelings
I am sensitive

But when I love, i love very strongly
I may not be as strong physically as you are
But I have endurance

One day, you'll see that my love is true
One day, you'll understand that you're wrong about materialistic love being the best form, being the only form
Materialistic love will only gain you objects
It will never gain you unconditional love

Love me like I want to be loved, and I'll be the most fortunate girl alive
Love me like I want to be loved, and you'll be the most fortunate guy alive
You're young now, your body is fine
You're young now, you can't see the deeper meaning of things

When day you'll hit that maturity period
And you'll start to see that the reason for broken relationships and marriages is usually the financial issue.
Materialistic love.

If one day, we're short on money, we'll both cut our personal consuming spending and save up together.
When it comes to money, I know what I'm doing.

When you finally reach my level of intuition and introspection, you'll see that you'd want someone who will love you even when you're bad in physical shape.

Sometimes, we all can't help having low self-esteem when something happens to our face, our body
You may feel afraid at some point in your life that you won't be loved anymore
You would then see that true love is more safe than materialistic love.

Someday, you would think back and see that
She's right all along
She could have been by your side
She could have been by your side and give you the true love that you need
If you had pulled her back right now.