♥Daily Blog: Rainy Day (Pt.2)

Actually, I just realized that the reason why I held on for so long was that of my love for the guy who used to be here.

The reason why I held on and willing to suffer was that of my hope and optimistic hope somewhere deep inside me - a hope that he'll see what I want him to see one day.

But he's changed, and the person I once knew in him is no longer here.

I prefer the guy who never lied to me, the guy who ALWAYS kept his words, the guy who cried for me, the guy who laughed for me, the guy who was willing to fix his mistakes because he didn't want to hurt me.

Actually, I don't know what will happen.

Meeting the guy of my dreams has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Even though he's gone now, and even though I'm heartbroken,

I do hope that there will be a miracle by the end of the January.

And if the future does not improve, I pray that I can be strong and accept the love that I can never have.

I've left my heart wide open for that guy, and now it's been attacked.

I kept smiling, though...

My life has changed in some way.

He got me realized that I am more faithful than I think I am. With all this pain, I realized that I love him whole-heartedly, which is why I'm hurt when things aren't going right.

I wish he had never done those things; I wish that he was an honest, faithful person.

I wish for a lot of things...

Mainly because...when I'm with him...I feel complete.

But what does the future hold?

I keep dreaming that someday, I'll steal his last name since he stole my heart.

but...idk...

In truth, I really want to stay with him..

No, I want the amazing guy back. I really do.

My astrology profile is right...

I am a lover who, although likes to be showered with flowers and romance, cannot do a lot of romance for her partner in return, but rather...give in time (in which no one has), stays up, and think of the positive things to write....

I'm a lover who doesn't mind taking care of her lover when he's sick.

I'm a lover who actually loves her person based on certain things that are not associated with looks.

I actually...

want him to be a better person...and a better lover...

Maybe I'm selfish, but in a higher sense, I actually don't want him to be so single-minded.

Society has definitely change, and being the person who values morals..
As I watch the corruption of morality and how things have completely changed,

I just shake my head.

I see people who are inconsiderate, people who flirt and have no self-respect, people who don't think of how their loved one feels.

I see people who use profanity more often than usual, people who gossip, people who are entirely fake.

Sometimes, I feel hatred. Most of the time, I feel saddened.

Being next to someone who has changed in ways that I cannot believe my eyes, I feel a little useless, because I cannot inspire that person to understand and see the world in my way.

If he will never lie to me, never cheats, never hides info, and does things out of his thoughtfulness and love for me...

I think...I'll be one fortunate girl.

I'll love him even when he doesn't shower for one day; I'll love him when he's sick, old, wrinkled.
I'll love him.

I thought I saw something in him when I fell in love with him...that amazing part in him...
Now that the guy is gone...

idk.

Feels empty..