♥Daily Blog: The Future

I haven't eaten dinner...have to wake up early to study...

I won't have breakfast tm either...

I wish the person i love most actually loves me too....because then I won't have to be hurt by the same things...I won't have to find out that he's lying to me, hiding things from me...etc...because i know that he won't do those things...

at times....i don't get it...

I fell in love with him because he values trust, etc.

He loved me too, and...actually...didn't want to hurt me...

How come I'm always honest with him...yet...he's not always fully honest with me...

In other words...he still talked to girls...otherwise...why would he be coming to visit...

Not even sure if he really gone home. The phone calls...he didn't pick up because he knew...so he refused to pick up...

Was it...that bad...to walk with me...
He rather be alone...doesn't want anyone to know that he's with me...

What is this relationship....he's not even taking it seriously...

And seriouisly....he's an entirely different person now....he has no traits that made me fall in love with him...

I guess....what's the point of me in staying...
If he would push this far...

I don't even care anymore....the same things just keep repeating over and over again.

People told me to give up...yet...I waited a little longer....

Nothing progressed...

I might as well just stop here...there's no use for a relationship if all he's doing now is hurting me more on purpose, breaking his promises, etc.

Even worse...hiding things....substiuting names....finding better ways to get around things...

It's like...idk....is this even a relatoinship.

I lost my friendship with my close friend....i lost it for him. He was that important to me...
Yet....in return, he just ditches me and hides things from me.

How much strength do I have left?

Even if he says "oh sorry" and yadda yadda yadda...he's still going to do the same things again...things that are even worse...

he apologized at knotts, and this is what happened.

So, is he going to apologize again? No thanks...if he's not going to take it seriously, mean it....
What's the point?

You say sorry to be forgiven, you say sorry because u really care about the relationship...you say sorry because u know that u won't do it again.

But...what's the point of apologizing...if you're just apologizing just for the heck of it?

Funny how ppl can lose his trust so easily....yet he even fakes around me and stuff.

Once it's over...this time...i mean it...it's over....

If he's not going to grow up, fine. If he doesn't love me, say so.

Why go hurt that person more and more? To have fun?

I feel so unloved, I'm not that stupid and slow to pick up things.

I wonder what the future holds....

Everything that he and I have worked for...

Just that one issue...that one issue...and it brings everything down....

Yet, how many times have i told him? It's not like i never said anything...

I actually told him...."If you love me, find that amazing guy."

Everything's unsettled...

idk...

i'll just take more pics of him....

perhaps saturday will be the last day...
or maybe the end of this month...idk...

he just doesn't love me; he's not even willing to see what's he doing wrong....

he's hurting me.

what am i to do?
He's hiding things from me...

forget it...if he doesnt want to be with me...

he might as well just say so

geez...i love him and if he's not happy with me, i'll respect him and let him go.

Kinda sad that i still love him and i may have to end this...

Mainly because he chose to leave.

But....once it's done...it's done...

I'm not the on and off relationship kind of girl...

A relationship is serious to me....it leads to a family...a future...someone there who will be there for u always...

so once it's done...it's done.

most likely i wont' get married...and most likely...he and i will never talk to each other again after it's done....

reason? because it's hard....because i still love him....and it's hard to talk to the person i love....the person i love who actually hurts me a lot...

lol funny huh? ppl break up because they don't love each other anymore...and for other stupid reasons

what's even more stupid is that i HAVE to end this because he clearly doesn't love me anymore...
funny...

i love you, so go?

eh...idk...i love him so....perhaps he should go find his own happiness....he's not completely content with me...not even willing to do anything for me...

Well...at least we know one thing for sure.

I didn't choose this.

He chose this.