♥Daily Blog: The Future (Pt.2)

I seriously need to stop blogging....but...I'll just get thoughts out of the way...

Anyway....

I guess...let it flow? Obviously...I'm exhausted...hope gave me a reason to endure all this a little longer...

But after realizing that there's no hope...i feel as though...eh

He's not going to change, period.

Rather than becoming better, he's just becoming someone who's more further away than the amazing guy I once knew.

I don't have anything to look forward to anymore. Before, I had hope that if he realized what i needed him to realize and apologize and leave everything settled, I had that hope that he and I can save the relationship one last time. I thought that he would ask for a chance. The last one.

This unsaid chance within this month...rather than taking it to realize things...he took it and simply create a bigger mess.

I don't think there's anything that he can do to save this....i'm not even sure if he wants to save this.

All ikjnow is....whatever that's left between him and me...eventually, it's going to end....

I can't do anything about it. I'm not touching this mess anymore. I've been scraping the dirt off this relationship and....i don't know....

I just really want to be in one where he and i wash the dirt off together...but...

I've already washed mine...idk...

Maybe it's meant to be...like...maybe he doesn't really love me at all and fate just makes him do these things so i can realize it...and end it as he wishes.

Not sure when, not sure how.

If there's a miracle, that would be awesome...because only a miracle can seem to really clean up everything including yd's big one.

But miracles....never really happen. I guess...i'm just...waiting....staring out into the horizon....just expecting the sky to grow dark.