♥Daily Blog: Endurance (Pt.2)

I just...found out...that he left me there...went home but...

did an errand too...

he came to vist...

must have talked to those girls....

He omitted the truth....didn't tell me all that he was doing...

Now he's just hiding things from me...being a better liar...

His last words were "late errand"

but apparently...the person told me that it was planned for him to bring it and visit...

How can I be so happy with him....

Only to find out what he did...

And all the laughter I have had with him...they all went away?

His friends...my scout friends....my sponser...

they were all right...yet i refused to listen....i refused to believe the worse....

I refused to accept that he won't love me....i refused to accept that he won't come around and find that part of him once again.

Perhaps my words said to him were harsh...

But I have no regrets...

Because it's the truth...i'm not lying...

I truly can't handle this anymore....I can't handle being with someone...who only treats me with disrespect...

I can't handle...giving all the love....and in return...i receive lies and deceit...hidden things...

I can't handle...being with someone...who doesn't love me since he doesn't even want to be with me.

It's deja vu...

But now...I'm not talking like last time anymore...

If he truly wants to be with me....things shouldn't be hidden from each other...he knows how i feel about that...so as a result, he hid it from me.

This time...I will not come pleading...

Because....this time...I have done nothing wrong anymore....I didin't hurt him through lies....

Furthermore...I have already...apologized for my past actions.

I'll let him pursue his happiness, for clearly...I'm not his.
I love you, so I'm being honest.

I love you, and if you can't fixed this one thing....well then...maybe you don't want to be with me...

If I'm pulling you down....then okay...go....

Just know that most of my happiness has come from you....even though most of my sadness has come from you too.

It's funny how...we never had big fights outside...funny how we would always laugh and talk to one another....

Funny how....we always have great times...

But due to one issue....you can't do that something for me....

Perhaps you'd never loved me...and the last sorry I say...either u'll ever know or not...

I'm sorry that I kept you even when you didn't love me.