♥Daily Blog: Damn

"He hangs out with _ a lot."
"I think because they have japanese together."
"My friend _. They used to talk a lot, a lot of texting going on."

How does he flirt?

"When he just met me, he had been texting me like crazy. Calling me up at 6 in the
morning, texts, lots of texts. And I ended up like _. He stopped. "

When was this?

September.

"He used to like her back in freshman or sophmore year."

============================================================

"If he wont' change, move on. You're suffering, I can sense it."

"You really love him, don't you?"

"Have you confronted him about it?"

Yes, I have. Many times.

"Cheating on someone is a serious matter."

"And good job on your part for getting him to make promises to you on his own
based on 'realization'."

Is that cheating, though? I'm confused, because people would say they're
"hanging."

"No, flirting is a form of cheating."

"If you are in a relationship with someone, your feelings are completely
put out there for the other person. And if he is messing with your feelings
by flirting with another girl, that is not okay."

"The other girl who did not stop should have realized that it is not okay
to flirt back, shame on her."

"You did give him a second chance."

Well...more than once.

"That shows you are forgiving and willing to accept him and his flaws."

"You have a good heart (: "

"With the little information I know and from the outsider's point of view,
you're so bright and beautiful and you shouldn't let a guy treat you like that."

I know I shouldn't let him treat me like that, but I really love him.
I'm always happy when I'm with him...but when it comes to other things
like promises and lies...I don't know. I just wish he cherishes me more.

"You really love him, don't you...but is it unrequited love? If he really
loved you, would he be unwise in his decisions of interacting with other girls?"

"Establish trust."

I did trust him...and...if you think about it, why would i trust him if the
things he did/does SHOWED to me that i couldn't/can't trust him?

"You said earlier that he makes you happy when you are with him, but
you are absolutely upset over all this, which is not healthy for the relationship."

"He's there for you physically, 'loves' you and cares for you. He's there
for you to talk about your problems and laugh with. You are torn between
letting him go since he lied to you."

"Both the pain and the comfort from the past are keeping you from moving
forward."

This is a recent past. I keep thinking about..how he and I just met..

"If he's flirting and flirting, doing the things that he knows hurt you...he's
indirectly abusing you."

^^ I'm talking to a professional here...and i'd never thought of that as
"abuse" wowee...so much for me to learn...

I sang to him...gave him the tour of all the places he and I used to be...
I apologized to him...

"Aw, that's sweet"

"I honestly don't think there's anything wrong on your part. I think you
are making him and yourself feel better by taking the blame for his actions."

I mean...we do things that we sometimes don't know if we're hurting the other
person..

"Right, unintentionally."

But I took responsibility for my actions, though. My actions hurt him, I apologized
and acted upon them.

"That is very mature then."

"Is it another girl that got his interest? That might also caused his change."

"How did he react during these times?"

Now that I think about it...he gave up on the relationship.

"It clearly shows that you have done way too much."

"A flirtatious type is the type that is expressed in order to make up the lack of
self-esteem."

"He seems very immature to be doing such things. If he knows those things
hurt you, then he should not keep up at it...if he truly loves you."

-I want to do what I want and have you be fine and happy with it-

"yes, so long as it does not cross the line and hurts you. If he thinks that by
lying and not telling you, you won't be hurt, he's wrong. He doesn't know it,
but he's wrong."

"It seems that he misses the first few months of dating he got between you
two. They call it the 'honeymoon period'. so as a result, he is pursuing other
girls in hopes of regaining that experience."

"He has to learn and progress through the relationship."

No matter how much time has passed...my love never grew old for him...i
never got tired of him...the flame was still on for me..

"It's the past now. You ended it last time just knowing the general based on
your instincts.He has cried. He realizes some things now. Even though you
know all the details now...you already did it last time. If he continues to do
them, then I'm sure you would know what to do. However, if you still love him,
stay with him. He will learn if he truly loves you. Ask him what you want to
know from him. If he's lying, then he hasn't learned anything. If he tells you
the truth, then you should give it another try. "

"Aren't you sick and tired from all this? You've been trying so hard, but he's
doing the same things over and over again. What's the point? But he has cried.
The past hurts, but you should step up now. Love him? Stay and see if he has
learned or not. If he's still doing the same things, he doesn't love you anymore.
Remember that although you've done a lot for him, you've also set things straight
with him that you would go if he doens't want you anymore. I'm sure that...if he
doesn't want to LOSE you at all, he'll do everything he can to prove to you why it's
worth to be with him."

"Don't you hate the other girl? She knows he has a gf yet she's flirting back."

No, my boyfriend should be strong enough to do what he knows is right.

"Maybe he believed that he could keep those promises, but when he found out he
couldn't, he decided to not tell you and even lie to you...to keep that love."

"He may not apologized yet, because he's afraid or scared. If he doesn't care about
you right now, he wouldn't be afraid of losing you. If he's afraid..he does care about
you. He'll apologize to you, when he's certain."

I have a headache.

You know what...whatever...i'll just go with the flow...love me...don't love me...

admit..don't admit..
apologize or don't apologize...

in the end...i've put up with you regarding to all these situations that summarized
back to the one thing that pulled us part.

"Maybe one day, he'll look back and say "Damn, that girl really did love me."

Loyalty...LMFAO...he treasures loyalty...admires a dog for its loyalty...

yet does he even appreciate my loyalty to him? Yet i don't receive the same back.

Fine, you. Go for a girl who looks beautiful and FLIRTS with someone else's bf.
I'm sure she'll take care of you when you're old and crippled...
I'm sure she'll be patient with you when you can't walk and she WANTS to go shopping.
I'm sure she'll be flirting with other guys.
I'm sure she'll be staying home and take care of you when you're sick.

Oh yes, I'm sure she will love you like I do. I'm sure she will be honest with you
like I do.

NOT.

Fine, go for the girl who OF COURSE gives you a laugh and CAN flirt. (what, he
doesn't even flirt with me)
Go for someone who will give you a good time...
But regarding to the serious matters of life and your health...
You'll be dying alone, my sweet.
Go for someone who won't really care about the things you eat that would affect
your health later on. Go for someone who doesn't give a damn care about your life.

If you think about summer and the times when we first met, we both had good
laughs, have we not?
Our first experiences...the things we have worked so hard on...
But fine, CHASE someone whom you do not have right now.
And IGNORE the person whom you used to laugh so much with, the person who
has put up with EVERYTHING you've done to her...
The hurt,
the lies,
the cheating,
the broken promises..

Who would put up with all this?

"A girlfriend who truly loves her boyfriend...and that girl...is you. Thank God,
Tuan has you."

I was forgiving enough and wililng to accept you and your flaws. That's why I
forgave and gave room for you to improve. If I never accepted your flaws, I would
be long gone by now.

"You make it seem impossible for him to get you back...but I'm sure that if he truly
loves you and wants to be with you, he'll do all that he can. Just like how you did
all that you could back then."

I feel like

I gave my body to the wrong person.

Picturing the things he and i did...and the things HE did while he wasn't with me...

*shivers*

lol

I'm a loner, yet a dreamer.

I've always been worried for you, have I not?