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this year i'm different. i will be.

-separating dreams from reality, doesnt matter if i'm sad. it's reality. i wasn't even involve a lot in church during my childhood, so i can't be perfectly lucky
-meeting him was best enough, he is the right guy for me...he just doesn't have all that i would want him to have. then again...he has other wonderful qualities that make up the romantic and creative ones that i would wish he had
-i might not know what i need and what's best for me. my lover making and keeping such promises...he really is amazing. i guess i'm not fully secured yet...the core is what i really want from him...if i were to have one wish come true for myself...it would be having him realizing what that core is...and offer it to me...unlocking it...

i'm planning to be silent. whether i'm sad, mad, etc., i must stay silent...

i just want him happy...if only he loves me like i love him....i give too much...things that are priceless...yet...why do i feel so unappreciated?

he used to write poems to me...was that temporary? he doesnt write any poem to me anymore...

perhaps he was only acting toward me...