♥ Daily Blog: Looking at the Sky

Sometimes I wonder if whether I should go back to my former best friends and make him less important to me.

But I don't want that. Yet, I feel so not special and unappreciated. Believe me, I know that my summer has officially ended yesterday. I know that for sure. 100%

Last week was two full days, this week will be two full days, next week will also be two full days (or who knows? maybe one) The following week will also be two days, and after that week, possibly only one.

Am I too boring?

My birthday wishes will never come true. Making them was just for fun. Believing that they will come true only pains me more after I see that they do not.

Silence really is the best thing, isn't it?

Always putting someone first and always being pushed down in some way. Always there for him and put myself available for him to talk to me, yet...he just leaves without saying. He's so used to the attention I give him that he never really considers how it feels to be invisible to everyone or understand the feeling when one really wants to be visible to someone, but that someone just overlooks.

There is no better feeling than the feeling of completeness.

I don't want to be just a person to him. I want to be somebody to him. Someone.

Perhaps I can't ask for commitment. If he loves me like I love him in the first place, he would be committed no matter what, without me asking or anything.

So...my mind is set. I was truly happy for the last time yesterday. Still feeling insecure and with him not doing the one thing to heal me, my mind is set. The time was up yesterday.

He's not that committed. Still putting friends before me at some point.

And...i have to pretend that i am okay with that. I have to pretend that everything's okay. I have to pretend...

because he still leaves me...lately every tuesday he seems to be somewhere else. haven't even heard a word from him today...

he has dedicated his tuesday to...something...or...s.o. else.

Lately
I wish I could know the thoughts in your mind
Cause lately..
It seems though you only want me sometimes
My insecurity is taking over me
I need to know where we stand
Is this a sympton of us falling out of love?
What happened to the romance?

Thought I was your only one
I came second to none
I wish I didn't love you so much sometimes
Then I wouldn't be so mad
About what we had
I wish I didn't love you so much sometimes

Lately
Its so hard to understand you sometimes
Lately
You make me feel so demeaning sometimes

Baby I can't believe you don't see how much I need you
Wish I could leave you
Sometimes
I can't believe you don't see how much I need you
Wish I could leave you
Sometimes