♥ Daily Blog: Convince

I've realized that I've been trying to convince myself that it's ok and that it's alright.

But...it's not okay.

*sigh*

He is amazing, but not as amazing as before.

Nothing I can do, but to accept who he is now. I was once happy, and if the wonderful guy that I once knew isn't here anymore, I need to accept that this is who I am now.

Because...lol...I was extremely happy when I saw him...he was like a dream came true...if only he combines half of his good past persona with his present good persona....if he keeps his promises and be who he is now...and is happy and charming before...i don't know how happy i can be...and i know he will be very happy and less stress too....and if it IS like that....i would have been good different too...

He and I rarely have any time for anything when school was in session...now that it's summer...it's even worse...rarely get to see him...even a few hours isn't enough...even when there was winter break...it was only two weeks...but now...it has been three weeks...and seeing him...was different....

no summer romance

nothing

distance grew more in the summer....when it shouldn't be...

but if that is his choice...lol...i'm happy for him...

i am happy for him...

and i should be happy...with my life...

all i can do is go to the gym and try to forget my problems

lol i was right about temporariness (if that's even a word?). He was surprisingly open to me for a few days...and now it's all back to normal. I have to ask to know...he's not open to me naturally...idk anymore

only one person is trying her hardest to keep the good things...but her alone isn't enough...

idk...looks like i need to really...idk..idk what to do...

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"New Day"

Before the light I found the dark
Before tonight I fellapart
Frozen up I've realized that something's gotta change

It took a crash to understand
Time kept slipping through my hands
I never used to know
The sun will shine after the rain

Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
To a new day

I was sleeping in a twisted dream
Dying just to make believe
A pretty situation was far from where I was

But I'm not up for giving up
Lying down and out of luck
My mistakes are in the open and know I'm finally coming clean

Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day

Cause everything, everything ends at the start
I'm healing and feeling all of my scars

Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before
Say hello, say hello to a new way
I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
To a new day

I was lost, but I found what I was looking for
Waking up, waking up to a new day
To a new day

~jen-jen