♥ Daily Blog: A Final Decision

I let go of Seattle. Hopefully, though...he will never mention about this to me anymore...for some reason..thinking about it brings me a little damage...mainly bc my intention to go there is to start everything new...but for him...i'll stay...but i do hope that he won't mention it anymore...

and if he does, i'll tell him not to anymore...but hopefully, he won't anymore so then i don't have to remember anything.

besides...if anything...moving to another state isn't my only option.

somewhere along the way...someone opened my eyes and showed me that even though i love someone a lot, if that person isn't a proper person/lover, then i just need to accept it and leave. of course...i'm very glad that i'm a good lover...i'm glad to be one of the few who knows how to love somebody unconditionally...and i'm glad to be an honest lover...not like some other girl whom i know =/

for once, i feel good about myself. for once, i see myself as a true lover that not everyone else is.

lol and if he is a true lover too, then i will definitely feel lucky and i'll be happy to make him feel that he's lucky too. i hope he and i can achieve the perfect ideal of a relationship that is RARE and hard to achieve for most ppl.

and if he turns 180 degrees personality wise as time passes (like he's completely the opposite of his gentle and promise keeping character), i will leave. i will always love him though....it's just that i'm going to move on to a single life and i'll be glad to have loved someone rather than to not know what true love is.

so either way, i'm okay. i mean...cmon....not everyone has a lover right? not everyone has experienced the happy romance that i have with him. not every girl has a bf (well uh...lover) who writes poems :] so i appreciate what i already have. i hope for more and better results...but that is hope. i hope that he is really a poet and will continue to write them for me even when our hair becomes grey and we both can no longer walk.

he has a bad side and i have a bad side and hopefully together we can get along with all sides.

life is good. it's time for he and i to see the world from a different and better perspective together. and if there's a problem, i believe that we can work them out better since we know each other a lot more now.

so i hope he appreciates the type of lover he has in his hands right now...and i hope he will treasure that lover in a sincere, honest, and loving way. after all...i was told that i am rare to find...but good when found =]

and hey...he's so good with hands...doing things etc. and i think i'm creative with the art ish...a good blend lol

and not many guys are good with their hands...heck most guys don't even dress formal D: and they don't know how to be dangerous in a way that makes me feel a tingling excitement feeling inside of me. only he can do it...he definitely has matched the dark, daring, and sweet type of guy that i read in novels lol. now...let's hope for a fantasy becoming in reality..the fantasy from all those movies...

~jen-jen