♥Daily Blog: Shocked

Today was a horrible day. I took the test solo and I ran out of time so I ended up guessing like 20 questions.

-_-

I studied...I totally studied...

Was my lack of sleep involved with my short term memory?

Things don't go in like they used to anymore.

After school, I walked out...and as always, I just skimmed the road.

As I was waiting for the bus, I suddenly felt empty.

I started to cry a bit inside.

No doubt.
No doubt I still love him.

"Love wasn't equal."

I see many cars that looked like his.

And I remember.

I remember all the good things.

We gotta remember the good things, right? Forget the bad ones...if those bad things won't happen anymore...

Then it's not worth it to remember the bad ones all the time.

And I smiled to myself.

But then...I frowned again.

I suddenly wondered...

Say if things will be changed...say if I'm complete...say if I'm willing to do things for him...

Would he come back?

And I tried to think of what he would say.

Wouldn't it be obvious that he would come back if he loves me? I mean...if the only thing that stops him from being back with me was those certain problems...

Why won't he be back when I'm finding solutions to those problems...when I'm willing to give him his wishes?

Unless he doesn't love me.

I went home...and dialed his number. I planned to just ask him how he was...I wanted to hear his voice...

I was planning to say, "Hello, how are you?"

Then he'd probably say, "Good, you?"

And I'd say, "I'm okay. Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I'll leave you alone, now. Bye."

And he would say, "Bye"

Short convo, but still...that would be how he wanted. I miss him...and even if I can talk to him for just five seconds, it's worth it.

Instead...the moment he picked up...nothing came out as I thought would come.

His voice changed...he was meaner...

He was at work, however. But then...why did he picked up his cell phone? Break? If it's break...why did he want to hang up so soon?

Anyway...I was just a bit surprised by the tone of his voice. No, scratch that. I was shocked.

He didn't sound happy...(then again, why would he, duh)

Still...

Anyway...well maybe he had a rough time today. Maybe he had problems with his mom? Maybe he's stressed?

Maybe.

I thought he worked on Friday's now...

I mean..if he worked Fridays...wow...things changed a lot..in two months...

I know I'm no longer in his life anymore...but...

Why do I feel as though I'm left out?

I see my classmate having her boyfriend's head on her lap.

Suddenly...I saw my classmate as me and her boyfriend as him.

I saw Jennifer sitting down, with Tuan's head on her lap. She rummaged through his hair as he lay there with his eyes closed. They both have a smile on their faces.