♥Daily Blog: Mother, Why?

I'm currently very ill, thanks to my irresponsible sister.

I'm having a light fever, and I'm studying for my test tomorrow.

I'm having a B- in choir now. Seriously...I was having an A+ in that class...lost 21 percentage points because of a ride that was beyond my control.

I wonder why I wasn't mad at him; I wonder why I acted that way when he lied to me directly.

I guess I'm not typically an angry person. Rather than being extremely happy from loving, I received the opposite effect, and thus, due to my sensitive trait, I am 5 times more hurt than how hurt I should be.

And maybe, just maybe, there's still a true side of me present, and that's why I was able to swallow the pain and express it in a different way.

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Lately, Mother has been asking me, "Did you tell him yet?"

I didn't answer.

Poor Mother, she seems to really approve him. And even though she never knew (I think) that there was something between me and him, she actually cared if he knew or not.

One thing I like about my mother is that she really respects privacy when it comes to relationships. She's also considerate (not to me, but to others).

If I were a guy, and she still treated me as a child and grounded me, I know for a fact that she would say, "Well, since it's last minute, you might as well go pick up your girlfriend and drive her home. Then tell her that you're grounded and that you need to come home."

My mother, like me, despise lies and absolutely abhors dishonesty. Still, just because I'm being punished, it doesn't mean that someone whom I'm involved with should be punished also.

And say if I were lying, my mother would most likely disapprove that and would be concerned about my girlfriend receiving the lies.

My mother...if back then she knew that he and I were dating, I'm sure she would trust him driving me and so forth. She would remind me to come home at a certain time, but she wouldn't bother him and me throughout the day.

I somehow feel that she knows...she knows but she won't say. I feel bad for not telling her...then again, I wasn't even sure that the relationship would last through, and I was right.

And even if there's a small small possibility that he and I could be together again (that is, something has to be done and if he actually loves me), well...I can't predict if there's that possibility.

I don't want to formerly announce that I'm dating someone unless I'm sure that the person loves me and that the relationship is going somewhere. After all, if I have announced it and then the relationship breaks, I'm afraid that my mother would become worse.

Why, Mother? Why do you care if he knows or not? Why do you care if I tell him or not?
Seems like you would really approve him as my boyfriend, and perhaps, husband.

lol If only you knew, though...
His family don't quite like me, for I'm being treated just like the way I'm being treated at school.
No one seems to approve me. Is my withdrawn personatlity that bad? I'm difficult to be approached, but I'm very respectful of others. I mean...I do have manners o.o I greet them when I come, I say "chao" when I leave.

You are not a good mother for me, but I'm sure you'd make a good mother-in-law.
You would see him as a son.
You must know something...for you keep mentioning about him...

I would like...to have a mother-in-law who's considerate, gets along with me, likes me, and respects the private lives of a couple.

*sigh* I'm only 17...ONLY 17 years-old...yet I'm carrying so much pain...

I'm happy being matured to think about marriage and being faithful and all that sorta stuff.

But...dealing with an unrequited unconditional love is murder. I'm too young to love someone unconditionally...but of course, true love comes unexpectedly.

*sigh* Well...no worries I guess...I'm still going to finish a book that has bits of me and him in it..yay..