♥Daily Blog: The Clock Strikes (Pt.2)

I congratulate those girls...who stopped trying but have their boyfriends ending up realizing things. I congratulate that girl...whose bf came around and is willing to sacrifice and do anything for her while she doesn't even have to do a thing.

Because here I am...

To have attempted to try every now and then...

But was left being the one who tried.

Surprisingly, I was willing to start over...start all over...I wanted to go back to the first time he and i went out...
I wanted to start over with this improved me...

But then...I realized that he wasn't even willing...didn't even want to get back...

He said he was confused...

He's actually...not even sure if he wants to get back. His love really isn't there anymore.

I mean...I guess i'll let him sort out things...to see if he wants me to stay or not...

But...I just don't think that he loves me anymore.

I've done in any possible way I could think of...

And say if he and I were to be back together...does he even love me..?

He's showing no desire for JayTee...even with this period, he doens't even try to talk to me..or giving me a long message just because.

I honestly don't know what to do.

But the only way...to find out if he loves me or not...

is for me to stop initiating.
Remember the old Tuan? He always intiated...even when I didn't even feel like talking...he talked to me.

I'm kinda searching in his heart to see if there's still love at all..

Because if he had tried to get me back...i would actually agree to it...and i would have surprised him that I still have the side of me that he likes.

I guess i'll just give it a few more weeks...not another month though...

I already know what I want..i'm clear of where I am..
I'm just trying to pick up clues to whether or not there's any hope for me and him left.
I guess if he still loves me and have any plans of being with me again..
I guess he'll talk to me..

Other than that...I should just stop bothering him. I mean..he obviously knows that i'm willing to be with him.
But I don't know if he's willing to be with me.

For now...I'll just read old convos and wonder what i should have said :] ahaha...hey...as long as my memory's still alive...that side of him is still alive.

He needs to know...that i'm not that weak weak girl anymore.
Trying is one thing, but to be willing to stop and see what's being returned is another thing.
I've tried and I even made him that video in case if he's not willing to be with me anymore.

But I want to stop and see. I need to know when to stop. And right now, I need to stop.

He needs room to understand if he still loves me, if he still has the same burning passion he once had.

I'm sure things will work out if he treats me like he used to. This time, I'll try my best to show him that everything he does is worth it.

Well, I guess i'll give it a few more days and perhaps a few more weeks. It's been a month already...then again...he never approached me...

So I'm not sure he wants me. I'm not sure if he needs me.

If there is another chance for him and me...i hope this time...he and I can actually go alll the way back and start over from there. I simply just want him to treat me like before...i want to be someone special to him.

I'm not sure what he wants from me...but i'm sure i can do it...

honestly...if i really can go back in time...i would have changed a lot of things about myself...my flaws, to be exact.

but I guess he doesn't know what I'm willing to do...nor do I know what's he willing to do.