♥Daily Blog: Something Feels...

Different.

Anyway, he and I were out in the rain and overate food from Johnny Rockets. I'm going to gain more than one pound =/

I also found the type of usb cable i need. 2.0 high speed usb cable and the Plug and Play port.

I'm surprised to hear that he likes the little chidish sayings I use o.o

"I like your ca-ca's and ca-chings."

lol Maybe he'll miss hearing me saying that one day...

Anyway...he seems to be questionable about the things i attempted to buy...

Even when I ask him for things, *sigh* idk.
Maybe I should stop asking.

Back then, even when i don't ask...he would offer and he would do things without me saying anything...

i kinda miss that part of him...the part where he cares about my wants and needs...the way he pays attention to me, the way he makes me feel as if i'm a part of his life...a precious part of his life.


I won't ask from him anymore.

January ends soon, and things start to happen. I realized as the week starts to end, i begin to see whether there's hope or any possibility that he will find tha tpart of himself again. I begin to see if there is a chance that he does still love me like he used to.

Whether he's IN love with me, or not.

I guess...I should start doing things on my own now.

I thought having him will help me solve my financial problems this year. I also want a good year.

Perhaps there IS no prom this year.

I do recognize the money thing coming and going...

Well...think about it...

There won't be a Valentine's day, and even if there is, he's not going to make it more special than last year's.

I realize that it's harder and more uncomfortable for me to ask him...

I should stop asking. I prefer him knowing without me asking.

I guess...after the photos and the lending money for the dress this week and perhaps a small meal...

I guess those are the last physical things i'll take. Cell phone...it's okay, better if he doesn't buy it for me.

I'm not even sure how this month ends like.

It's better to not take anymore, if the relationship won't improve and if there's no change for a better future.

I guess...when he countered me today, there was a reason.
It got me thinking, and perhaps...i should stop taking. As nothing shows that things will be settled, perhaps i will cry later.

Better to not take anymore things.

Anyway...I get to see him all this week except sunday, which is sad because January 31st will be the last day of this month, and possibly, the last day of this relationship, the last chance for anything.

No pressure. No pressure at all. It is an opportunity for him to take, an opportunity to choose what he wants to be part of his life in the future. An opportunity to improve and realize what he really needs and wants.

Today's the last rainy rainy day, the last tuesday. Tomorrow will be the last time he'll drive me on a late-start day.

Thursday will be our last Thursday together, and Friday will be our last many hour day together (hopefully long, indeed), and saturday will be the last hang out weekend day, and, perhaps the last day i can see him and talk to him with a smile, to his hear sincere voice

I see nothing and....although all these things may not be the last, well...i don't know that and....

i just need to show him how happy that i am when i'm next to him.