♥Daily Blog: Should Be Sleeping

I should be sleeping, but there are just so many thoughts on my mind, and Ijust need to blog them before I forget to blog them tomorrow.

I feel as though there's something missing.
A feeling that is missing.

I honestly wish he has that same feeling for me like how he had it when he and I first went out.

I remember the first written poem he gave me...a poem called "For That I Am Sorry"

He apologized for a SMALL mistake...a small mistake in which he felt that it affected me and fixed it right away.

Where is that feeling now? He used to write me pretty letters, write wonderful poems, draw things for me, etc.

It was clear that he was in love with me, but now it is clear that he's not in love with me.
He doesn't like to hold me like he used to, kiss me like he used,

He doesn't hold me by my waist anymore.
He used to love picking me up, giving me piggy back rides...

Where is that feeling?

Everything seems dead...it's not like i haven't tried...

And now...I've grown to love too much and he loves too little.

Was this part of some plan? To trick me into falling in love with that person and later that person doesn't love me back?

That feeling seems to be gone, which is why I state that the amazing guy is gone.
I still remember the ways of how he looked at me...

The smirks, the smiles, the laughter

The way he would stare at me so much.

Am I boring now?

Up until now, that feeling didn't even come back for him.

I cry whenever I read the past convos. I picture myself back then and I realized how happy I was, how much he was in love with me...

It felt so good...to be loved a lot by him...because in the end, i love him a lot too.

Things seem dull now. He doesn't find me interesting anymore...

Something that used to be with us...has died, and the guy I used to know is long gone.
All I can do now is dwell with this loneliness, this rejection.

Even with the cards I give him each month, he just briefly reads them and put them aside...

Little does he know...I put effort and time...one hour into my sleep time to have the card filled and the envelope simply decorated.
He doesn't request to see my pictures anymore...

He doesn't even want to take pictures of me...yet...i take plenty of him because...i'm in love with him...

If truly everything's dead...

It pains me more when I'm with him, because he is more further from the guy that used to be in him.

I feed him...yet he doesn't feed me...

Sure, he makes me food but...that's just one thing out of the things he used to do...

He used to play around with me...not anymore.
The expression he puts on whenever he's with me now...it's different...

I try to be happy but....

Maybe i'm just fooling myself...

If he's not in love with me anymore...i'm just...hurting myself more by proving to him that i still love him...