♥Daily Blog: Reaching Out (Pt.2)

"It's like a drug addiction," he said.

He said that he realized something but it's hard to stop.

That's stupid. If he realized something, then he WOULD stop.

Some people quit drugs because they realized how it would affect their children, etc.

So, girls is HIS addiction.

LOL that's all i needed to know

He doesn't want me. Texting girls, flirting with them, doing whatever the hell i don't know...yeah

that's his addiction.

That's all I needed to know.

That was his answer.

Basically he didn't realize anything, otherwise he wouldn't use the excuse "it's like a drug addiction"

Because in that case, he doesn't love me, his addiction means to him more.

I quit.

I don't think there's any more explanation he can use to change my mind, because
In the end, it all comes down to whether he wants to be with me or not.

Be with me and change

or don't change and don't be with me.

Apparently, if one girl is not enough for him

Then this past year has been a waaste for me.

Not another word.

He'll be doing the same fucking things he's been doing. He doesn't love me, he doesn't care.

Did he ever know how hard it was for ME to stop criticism? Apparently, no. I was used to pointing others' flaws out and i couldn't help it.

After I learned that he was deeply affected by it, i started to stop crticizing him....i thought it was impossible to stop, but then i realized that ANYTHING was possible if i had true love for him.

Not another word.

He can just go doing whatever he likes.

I tell ya...one day karma will hit him and he'll be thinking "I should have grown up earlier and have someone who truly loves me rather than growing up now and be unappreciated."

haha...what can i say?

leave it up to fate

if he wont change, so be it. he never loved me and karma will get back at him.

It's sad, but...

ppl don't learn and that's the downfall to every man's life.

I'm just wasting my time giving him room and chances, because in the end, nothing happens.

He's telling me that he doesn't want to be with me because he doesn't truly love me. Because if he does love me, then none of this would still be happening.

Love is when you want that person to be unharmed and loved by you. You want to be the best lover for that person. You want that person happy and fully loved by you. You want that person to know that you love her.

He's telling me that he can't stop texting girls, flirting with girls, etc.
He's telling me that he wants to be with other girls.

He realized nothing, for if he did realize something, he would stop because he would understand the full consequences. He would understand the pros and cons.

So like...what the hell is he in a relationship for? He doens't want one person and he doesn't even love the person he's in a relationship with.

So like...I had so much free time that i ended up writing pros and cons LOL

OKay! Pros and Cons if he DOESN'T change

Pros:
-He can flirt, text, and hang out with girlS as much as he want
-He's not committed to anyone
-All he lives for is FUN
-He doesn't have to consider anyone's feelings
-He doens't have to spend on anyone
-He can do as he pleases, even when things are wrong.

Cons:
-Sooner or later he's going to have to settle
-He's not going to find another girl who'll love him like i do =P
-He's not going to find one who'll unconditionally love him
-He's not going to find another girl who won't be disgusted by certain things about him
-Girls who go for him will eventually go for his money or materials
-He'll never find another girl who'll be one hundred percent faithful to him
-I'm his soulmate, and he missed out on a soulmate =/ cause a soulmate will be forgiving more than a regular person is
-He will not have a wife who will love him even when his looks die. (Trust me, ladies eventually check out other men )
-He's not going to find someone who will invest a lot of time like i do in doing things for him.
-One day, if he suddenly becomes bankrupt, everyone may leave him and ppl who stay will only stay because they have pity! However, if he had improved and truly loved me, then i would have been his wife and thennn i would stay with him even through hardships like poverty etc.
-He will die alone, not that i hope he will die alone...but...um...with today's society...yeahhh i'm the only oddball who loves truly
-He will never find another girl who is his hs sweetheart, another girl who spent 20 hours making a calendar, another girl who bought him a lapdesk even when she was poor, another girl who will take the blame for his actions, another girl who gave him more time than necessary, another girl who was forgiving AND tried to be a better person for him

Pros and Cons when he DOES change

Pros:
-He'll end up marrying his hs sweetheart and have a relationship that helps him grow into a better person and understand what love really gives him when it's at its best
-He'll end up dealing with me pmsing, HOWEVER, in the end i would apologize which shows that i ddin't mean it and that i DO have morals and a good conscience
-He'll be dealing with me overreacting, but at the same time, i'll be dealing with his careless ways in handling certain things. BUT in the end...it shows that we both have a good tolerance of each other and help balance the other out and complete the other.
-In all his lifetime, he would have kissed only one person, exposed himself to one person...which is good because it shows that he's clean (not talking literally)
-He'll have me to love him unconditionally, even when things get rough, even if he's having health problems...i'll stay with him and be there for him as long as it takes...if he's in the hospital, i'll be sitting in the same room, never leaving his side.
-He's with his soulmate, which is rare for others
-Basically, whether he believes in God or not, he'll be sinning less if he does change. Moreover, in time...he'll realize that he's made the right choice (hopefully) because...remember, guys are going to mature...and apparently, he's going to mature a lot at one certain age.
I know some of his values, and one day, he'll realize that he would rather have a faithful wife than a wife who's not completely faithful. Right now, he values faithfulness and trust, but he doesn't see that he has that type of woman before his eyes right now.

Later on, he'll see that what he wanted has been standing before him all along.

Cons:
-I can't think of any, can you? Well okay, ASSUMING that he doesn't love me, then of course...he would feel trapped
-He doesn't get to have more girls (um...to me, i wouldn't understand this)
-i can't think of any more cons...because i'm sure everyone would like to have a faithful lover and a lover who loves honestly...

Gahh...pros and cons LOL

If this relationship ends, (which i think it will since he told me that it's hard for him to stop which means that he doesn't really love me), then...i'll be dying inside and live alone. But no matter! I'll soon learn to hate love haha

ooohhhhh i heard this song called "I Hate Love" by Claude Kelly....it's kinda interesting...

lol karma. i'm not afraid of that, for after all, i've been loving honestly all along =] i'm so proud of myself *pats on the back*

whatever, he'll learn it the hard way.

although...i do hope hope he learns it sooner because i love this guy.