♥Daily Blog: Greed

My teacher received a vase of 22 beautiful red roses from her husband.
Love is still in the the air for them.

Today...this girl came into the classroom and asked her boyfriend to the dance (since he doesn't want to go) and he said yes.

During the next period, more drops of tears fell from my eyes.

Not only did I ask him to the dance (something that I didn't want to do and rather have the guy ask me), but I was also rejected ish.

Winter Formal. I wanted to go...but it's no fun without someone I love.

He didn't want to go in the first place, for otherwise he would have planned ahead already. He knew that there will be another one this year....he also said that it won't be my last one last year.

It's too late now...

I've accomplished nothing that I planned to this year.

I can't participate in the talent show because I spent my only free day finishing up his anniversary present rather than writing my song...

But what does he know? He doesn't know my dreams...and even if he does know, he doesn't care.

He was oblivious to my feelings.

My senior year started out like crap and it will end like crap.

His senior year at least had some great memories...

Yet...I've falied all my plans this year.

He's into business...not only did i support him...but i was also happy when i saw that he was a step closer to what he wanted.

But music? Writing? It seems that to him, what I want means nothing. Besides my dream to be with the amazing guy....

My minor dreams are involved with music and writing, and yet, just because they weren't his minor dreams....they weren't important to him.

He wants her...but he also wants others. He doesn't really love her, and because he doesn't want to improve himself and find the guy in him and make her happy, thus..he doesn't want to be with me.

"Greed," her friend told her.

Am I blind or am I just too kind?
Because I'm obviously blind if he's not ever going to change back, and I'm just being too kind by not wanting to not giving him a chance when he apologized.

Actually, he never asked for another chance.

Does he need me and only me? Does he want me and only me? Does he care?

Furthermore, why am I just so disappointed in not going to winter formal?

It's my senior year, and I won't be in the yearbook.

It's my senior year, and I don't have the amazing guy.

It's my senior year, and I'm not having a good year.

Actually, it's my life....and I want to have the amazing guy come to me and never leave me again. It's my life, and I want something to be remembered by.

I want pictures....I want to take those nice pictures...of him and me dressed up...for he and I will be going to winter formal together...

I want those professional pictures....

Even if I do find that place...what's the point if he's not going...

So I have this silly idea, and trust me, it's silly.

I mean...he doesn't love me so he would never come up with this idea.

So like...I daydreamed that he was reallllyy sorry for not going to winter formal as he has said last year... (gahh but then again he doesn't want to go in the first place because he didn't plan ahead)

Anyway....I daydreamed that he'll be like "Even though it's too late to go to winter formal, how about we dress up and go to a nice picture place to take the professional pictures? You'll have a corsage, and it would just be like winter formal...except...we never went to winter formal."

Lame. I tell ya, it's lame.

Greed. Overall, it's greed!

lol jk


I'm the one giving a lot...the one who actually wonders and cares about his feelings....who actually supports him...in what he wants to do in his career part of his life...

And...despite of all the bad times...in some way...I still made his senior year special.

Why does it hurt so much?

To hear that girl asked her bf...and he said yes...to see that...just breaks my own heart.

I didn't know I was really sad....until I saw things that trigger my tears.

I hated to ask...and I ended up asking...and ended up with no...

Here I am, just staring at this guest pass application....the one I spent 20 dollars on...and had my perfect id card replaced with a new one that has many flaws...

All...

for...nothing....except....one heavy teardrop and one soul crying.