♥Daily Blog: A Quagmire

My tears are the words that the heart can't say.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief. . .and unspeakable love.

Love.

What are you?

Is it my destiny to never want to love again?
Why must I give too much? Why can't I be cherished?
I cannot...make him change. He made promises and became someone better...but then...
No.
Do all guys...want girls? How stupid. How selfish. How greedy.
To have such a want.
A woman at home, a woman to have beside
Two?
Eventually...I'm never going to love again...never....
All I want is for the person to love me and understand my needs.
I just...can't do this...
He's gone, and all I have left to remember him by...
is my faded memory.

Do I regret...? If I had known that I won't be receiving all his love...
Would I...would I have walked with him in the first place...
I cannot be with someone...who's hanging with ladies.
Who's hanging with a particular lady.
I can't.
I'm hurt either way...with him or without him.
I wish I never felt this feeling.

I have loved unconditionally one man and lost that love, it leaves a wound that never heals, a sad and broken heart, a void forever.
I have been desperately hanging on to something precious; not wanting to give up, but my hands feel the pain. When I let go, my hands feel empty.
What do I live for when all that I have been living for is gone?
Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost that amazing guy. On the outside...I'm living , pretending that I've forgotten him.
I was falling in love...and now I'm falling apart.
I could write all I want - a hundred pages, five hundred pages, a thousand pages...about how I felt...
And he would still not understand
He'll never understand why I hurt so much because he's not the one who is crying,
he's not the one who is left behind, he's not the one who loved too much, and he's not the one who is holding on to someone who is gone...

I guess nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to me, but I meant nothing to him.
There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest...
your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo...
It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me...

I don't regret any of my feelings or things I did with him, because when I look at him I see something different than what everyone else can see.
When I'm with him, I feel a feeling that no one or being anywhere else can give me.
When I kissed him, my world around me melted.
When he held me in his arms and rested his head on mine, I forgot everything but my world
that was holding me.
But then...it all shatters when I open my eyes and realized...that...I'm missing something from him.
His core.

Maybe one day, he will look back and say, "Damn, that girl really did love me."

After all...it's only after someone is gone when you realize how much you miss that person...

I've known this quote...applied it...but even so...even though I realized how much I miss the amazing guy...
I never realized that he was gone...until I realized how much I miss him.

But now...I'm almost gone. Would he notice? Even if he did, what would he do? I guess that's when I know
If he will come for me or not.
That's how I'll know...if the amazing guy...will come back...

I'm slowing down my pace...but I'm not stopping...