I honestly don't want this.
I want to wake up.
I want to go to sleep and having to say all those sweet good night stuff with lots of hearts.
I want to hold hands with him.
I want to laugh with him.
I had no choice...
All this is killing me inside..
but i had to do it...
If only he were the same guy.
People change but either for the better and knowledge-wise.
He's a completely...different person..
Why must he break all those promises...?
Those were the ones that contribute to the blissful of the relationship..
Because I can trust him. Because I feel secure.
Because I can trust him.
Nothing I can do. In some ways, I regret..
But at least it is the only thing I regret...I know there were things I did wrong...but I'm glad I realized them and apologized for them earlier
Even with where am I now...
If I turn back...
the only reason for this is that...
The amazing guy left me, and took a part of me with him, but left a part of him with me.
I'm the one crying right now. The one tearing apart.
Even if I do have a choice...
If I were to stay, what is he going to see me as? That i have no respect for myself? That I love him to the point where I lost respect for myself?
No...
He needs to know that...no matter how much I love him...
I cannot be stepped on like this.
Either he truly loves me and wants to be with me
Or he would rather be with somebody else.
I want to walk with him, but he's not walking with me. He changed his direction.
With this genuine love I have for him...
I can hope that he will turn around and come back..
and prove to me that he does want to be with me.
However, I cannot wait for him...
I want to...but I can't...
It's the only way...to know if it's really meant to be.
For once, would he come back?
If he doesn't want to be with me...then...
Perhaps I've done the right thing.
To let the person go because I love him too much.
If he doesn't want to be with me, I need to let him go, because I really love him..
And perhaps..
he can be happier without me.
If that really is the case...
All those things I promised him, I remember.
I may be letthing him go, but only a part of him go and a part of myself go. He has changed...he isn't here anymore.
But at least he left a part of him back...and a part of me...together...those make the special memories that i'll always cherish.
I would be happier if you and me are together.
But I would be much much happier if you keep your promises.
But if you would like to walk ahead without me...
I won't stop you...
You are my happiness and if you want to pursue urs...
As long as you're happy...I'll be happy...
Even if I die inside..
At least I can always cherish what you left back.
So be it.
I don't want to ever love
Again.
Ever.
