♥Daily Blog: Oh...Wow...

I never knew that I would feel this way and face this situation : "I wish we can be back to the way we were."

No longer does he wonder what I'm doing. No longer...is he curious about me.

In all that I do...I have tried everything...but he will never see. He will never see how he has changed...he will never see what's he missing.

Clinging to my last ray of hope...I sent him a video

Clinging to my last ray of hope...i have sent him an email long ago...left him long messages ago

Clinging to my last ray of hope, right now...i'm looking for one last thing to do...if that doesn't work...

I give up...there's no use...trying to tell someone...talk to someone...when the person isn't willing to open his or her eyes...isn't willing to open his or her ears...willing to understand

Not wanting.

"Know what you want, and want it with passion."

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"He's getting too comfortable."

"At first everything is new...then once time passes...you run out of fun things to share..."

All along...I tried to keep it up..keeping the romance...wanting to have fun with me...

But...no more...no more of that...

"At first in human relationships, at first everything is so exciting because they have new things to share with each other. But then as time goes on, everything becomes boring and repetitive...because they've gotten to know each other so well, and now one of them feels like they have nothing else to impress the other with...and that is when...relationships end."

I am heartbroken...when I heard this.

It all makes sense now...I have been in love him always...loving him unconditionally...but...

The anniversary day...skipping hangouts...no more dates...no more adventures...

Nothing pleases him...I'm happy the fact that he and i have each other...but...he's grown tired....I'm not...very interesting to him anymore...

It's sad because...he never gave me the opportunity to show him who I really am...

And...he's okay with this...because...he's the one who's bored..

"But that's a generalization, Jennifer. Don't be scared. It's really up to the couple to find solutions instead of making everything repetitive."

But...he doesn't want to solve anything...he avoids them...he doens't care about us anymore...

What am I to do? What am I to do....

"If that's his answer, then you know what his priorities are."

How can this be...I never expected this...to happen...

"If for every question you ask me...and I answer...could bring you happiness...i would answer every single one..."

Enough...enough said...right...All I know is...it's not good...

still blinded...i have begun to read over my past convos with him...to find the problem...



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I had a beautiful dream last night. Perhaps I really do miss us. He and I were in a store...we were walking...hand in hand..arm to arm...we were smiling...

And he was really nice...he was really gentle to me...and I to him...the same way

After he paid for the things...I suddenly walked quickly away...to the back of the store..looking for something.

He didn't leave me. Instead...he searched for me...and searched and searched...and when he saw me...he crept up to me...and wrapped his arms around me...and i jumped...since i didn't know he was there.

And gently...he took my hand...and said, "C'mon." He gave me his flashing smile...and we walked together out...

We were smiling. Our heads were touching...

everything...was beautiful...

I wish...I could live in that dream...forever...