♥Daily Blog: Turns

I'm just so confused.

All of a sudden...he's doing sweet things...things he has never done before

I'm just so confused...supposedly i'm touched and I get really happy receiving the sweet things he does...

but then...i'm just so confused because he ignores other things that mean to me too...

Our bond...isn't strong. Problems are always being avoided. One of the things that are in the core that I want is for the bond to be strong...for him to stay up as long as he can to settle any bumps..

He used to do that...calmly...and it wouldn't be a waste of time...

I still feel that pain...I thought I wouldn't...I thought I was healed...but I didn't know that...I didn't know that...even now if I talk about something from "that period"...I didn't know that these hot tears will start to fall...

How long...will it take for me to heal? What does it take for me to heal in an instant? perhaps...the core...

or...if the core isn't given..then perhaps..it will be until the day i die...until then i am healed?

I yearn for the core...

but as long as i keep seeing how he yells at me..complains...not responding to me...i see that...i will never get the core

I know...the past is the past..I should leave it and move on...

but how can i do that...now that i know that only one percent of the ppl are considerate?

What kind of people would ruin and get in the way of something that I was trying so hard to achieve?

What if...someone...later on...would tempt my lover...even when he's my boyfriend...

What would he do?

I trust that he isn't talking to any girl..

But...I'm not sure how strong is his willpower when it comes to temptations...

All I ever wanted was for him to settle a problem...because it shows me that he cares...and that he cares that i go to sleep without thinking...

but so far...i don't think he's really concern if whether i sleep well or not...if whether i sleep at all..