♥Daily Blog: Discovery

One of the students from chemistry last year asked me, "Hey are you still with Tuan?"
The tone...the way that person made it sound was....awkward and...not good. He/she was laughing. His or her tone was...nothing serious. The way that person asked....
The question was...just a laugh, a mock, a comedy...making fun of...

And I...was...immediately offended. "Why?" I questioned her, trying to sound apathetic.

And the person just laughed. "I'm just asking. Why are you so offended?"

"The way you asked did not sound like pure curiosity," I answered with my usual calm voice.

Then two other classmates in my group sort of saved me. "Well, it's about her personal life. You shouldn't be asking that. If she's offended, there's no surprise to why she is."

And then the other added, "Yeah. I don't go around asking people things like that, you know."

I was amused. It was absolutely amazing to find out that there are a few people out there who are very fair and don't take sides even for a friend. Though the person who questioned me kept reasoning that he/she was just "asking," his or her two friends were not convinced.

Of course...with my lover, that'll be different. Even when there's a flaw, I would only try to help him see what's right...but no matter what, I'll stick by him. It's not like I would automatically give up or anything. Furthermore, i don't take sides anyway. With him, however, he's different. And...whether he sees what's right or agrees with my opinion or not, i am not influenced by anyone else except to trust in my own self.

But....enough...digressing...

The person later added, "Dude, everyone knows."

So...I wonder...why people last year talked so much about him and me? As far as I have collected from one source, many things said were rumors...and many were...bad...nothing good.

They wondered why I, one of the quietest, "smartest," and "innocent" girl would go out with such a guy.

"People were talking."
"He touches a lot of girls. Seriously, what do you see in him?"
"He's rude."
"He flirts."

And I heard all these things months ago. And...I would sigh and thought to myself, "Tell me something that I don't know."

And there it was...rumors...everywhere...."everyone knows"

laughs, smirks, stares

But...I saw...potential...I saw hope in him....

And guess where he's at now...he is becoming more and more...better...becoming the best lover that I have never imagined. To see him changing and progressing slowly...to see him understanding from my point of view...

He will be a great man.

I do sometimes wonder about...how come no one had ever complimented me and him as a couple...I see girls admiring other taken girls..."Wow, you're soooo lucky."
"You guys are just perfect for each other."
"What a fine guy you've got there."

But...so far...no one seemed to...appreciate....like....awed...by him and me...

Perhaps...as a girl, I had suffered....died...back then...and people could see...people laughed....people talked...

And then...there were some...some of whom were quite inconsiderate...turned out to have a heart..."Though I don't like her, I don't think she deserves being treated this way."

But I ignored. I denied what people said. He'll be the best guy one day...I know...I hope, I told myself.

Up until now, I sometimes wonder if...all that had happened...was worth it...

Perhaps...it wasn't...but then...perhaps there was just a tiny bit of worth...

I realized that...never will I go through that phase again...

For if a guy sincerely loves you, he won't hurt you like that. You'll be crawling back to him, but if he sincrely loves you more, he'll crawl back to you before you can do anything.


And though I am hurt today because of a reminder of the past...I am offended by the person's question.

He/she apparently thought that my relationship with him was just...a temporary...an experience...nothing serious

But...in truth, he and I are stronger than what everyone thinks.
And...he's becoming better....I'm not giving up on him...

So stop looking down on him.

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"Jobs that make a lot of money require a sacrifice, and that sacrifice is your personal life, your family," the woman said.

It was true. I now understand why I was amazed by his dream career...but at the same time...I was...disappointed.

Medical school would take 13 years. He's not going to have a lot of time for me...and even when he and I will live under the same roof, he'll be too focused on his job...being tired...sleepy...etc.

Already...he doesn't bother with how I feel...or really want to have any serious talk with me...

So...this will be a habit...and eventually, there might be nothing between us.

He and I are completely two different people when it comes to the philosophies of life. To him, money brings happiness in some way. Though I agree that it does make people feel secure and stable, the true happiness...really isn't there unless something else is present.

Once he goes to med school...everything will changed drastically. And the professor was right...

"Jobs with a lot of money requires a sacrifice, and that sacrifice is family."

And...I will be his family right...though family refers to a group, in this case, family refers to only me...

And he won't have time....I am just...on the side.

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How can he say that romance will live and go on forever when...he doesn't do the things he used to do?

The pure love....

I remember the first week after he asked me out...the way he held my hand...that tingling feeling...the way he held my waist...the way he held me close...the way he hugged me....the way he would hold me while he stood behind me...the way he tells me how much he loves sleeping on my shoulder...

And...no more of that pure love...the super closeness, how I miss that...

and I now doubt that...romance will live forever...