♥Daily Blog: Missing

It was very cute the way he wanted me to stay last night. He told me to stay, begged, and asked....I would have given into him but then I didn't want him to think that I don't stick to my words.

Perhaps maybe some other time...love the way he wanted me to stay and kinda uh...forced me to stay...well not in a mean way...but rather in a cute and yeah...

so yeah...i bought pretty cards yesterday and he did saw me taking them lol. even when i went up to the cashier, after when i paid, then he rushed over. but really, he didn't want to pay. he pays attention to the things i get so i know that he saw me taking those cards and stuff...and i also know that he saw me going up to the cashier to pay. if he doesn't want to pay, then...don't. he shouldn't really pretend -_- so yeah...i bought things for myself...hooray....
it comes to the point where....i pay now. simply it. i mean...seriously...i gave him money last time and he didn't rejected it...and yeah...now this...well...what can i say? if he doesn't want to pay then...ok. not really mad about it....just...feeling unladylike. but...i rather have him pay because he wants to....and well...i guess....idk
so far....not so good.

Overall...I really wish he speaks gently to me...if he can be so nice to my younger sister, why can't i ever get a nice tone from him? I want my lover to speak gently to me....always soothing and never yell -_-

I miss the way he speaks to me gently AND honestly...not faking any sweetness of his voice...but more like...that's how he speaks to me naturally....

I miss the way he mumbles in my ear...plays with my hair and flip the hair out of my eyes...
I miss the way he dresses me...the way he takes my jacket off and put it on...I miss....chivalry...

I miss the way he rushes over and opens the car door for me....
I miss the way he hugs me and kisses me...I miss the way he teases me and squeeze me to death. I miss all the romantic things he initiates...
And I was right all along...the things he do...won't continue...our relationshp is just like the majority....the romantic-ness dies...and for us...it dies too soon....i don't want it to die ever...

I miss the way he kisses me mouth closed...and slowly he parts my lips....and eventually pulls me into a deeper kiss...I miss the passion...I thought it was unconditional...

Ever since then...he seems disgusted by me or something. One thing that guys don't know is that...

For some ladies, when she says she doesn't want to continue or no, she still wants the guy to still have a desire for it...to still do it...

But...though the kisses are meaningful lately...i wish they were meaningful and deep but also passoinate...

I don't want to force anything...all i can say is...

from what it looks like, he's not that interested in me anymore. Even if there is another side to it....doesn't matter...

I miss the ways that he does things to me...i love those ways...and...I just feel....very sad...very unhappy....to the point where I would cry...

just thinking about summer....summer was really over....and...he seems disgusted by me or something...he doesn't take my hand right away...hold it...

for some reason....he doesn't show his affections anymore...and even though he loves me...i still love the expressions that he used to do...

and all i can do is...dream about it...i miss all of those ways....i miss all of them so much.....and even if i say another word....it won't come natural....

idk what to do...but to endure this sadness...this loss....

I may be shy when i express my feelings outside...but that doesn't mean that i don't like receiving them....

and i miss the way he takes care of me and does so many romantic things...i miss his forceful rush kiss...the sweet and delicious kiss...how he searches inside of me gently...and then there's that luau kiss...how he parts my lips eventually and enters me...slowly...and gently...full of meaning...

now...it's one of those kisses where...idk...it's good but...idk...

i miss the good times....i can try to let go of the bad ones...

but...i want to live in the good times forever..

and many times...i wish i can ask him directly, "Was I right? Summer was already over? Why did you lie?"