♥ Daily Blog: Hold

i'm scared of him. this isn't right.

my former best friend once told me, "You're supposed to whip him. Why can't you tame him? I see other girls taming and whipping their boyfriends around. If he really loves you, he wouldn't care what you do as long as you truly love him."

I thought I could, but I feel as though he's been letting me tame him on some things...but it's like he's in charge on what i tame. if that's the case, i'm not really taming him.

If my former best friend can see that there's something wrong through the things I describe....

This isn't right. I'm afraid of him. It should be the other way around.

This is a bad sign...I don't know if I'll be happy and lucky wife because already...as a girlfriend...i'm scared of him.

I guess he's really not into romantic relationships. I can't tame him completely, and he's taming me to tame him...which really i'm not taming. And then he lets me decide all these romantic things while I shouldn't be.

What's the type of relationship i want? i want to be a lady. I want to be surprised with big things. that's what i want.

i give up what i want. there's no such thing as fantasies coming true. i can always sit here and admire how my other friend can have so much.

she's a really good person in order to have so much...

while I'm sitting here wondering what's it like to be her...

Dancing is the key to make me fall in love deeper...it's romantic...a great start...a great way to know if he's the one...

he won't dance with me. he knows what i like. he's just not like that. i cna't force.

i'm afraid of him.

Tell me that it's going to be okay
Tell me that you'll help me find my way
Tell me you can see the light of dawn breaking
Tell me that it's going to be alright
Tell me that you'll help me fight this fight
Tell me that you won't leave me alone in this

Because I need a hand to hold
To hold me from the edge
The edge I'm sliding over slow
The edge I'm sliding past
Hold on to me

Tell me I can make it through this day
I don't even have the words to pray
You have been the only one who never left me (or so I wish you would be like that)
Help me find the way through all my fears
Help me see the light through all my tears
Help me see that I am not alone in this