♥ Daily Blog: Tired

i weigh between 105 and 106

back to my eighth grade weight

but then...i just consumed some fast food

dfjdkfj

after the gym today, i walked around...oh yeah...there was a cute cinnamoroll for 12 bucks

*sigh*

anyway...as i walked toward the bus stop, i felt nauseous. i felt weak and tired. actually, i've been so tired lately...yesterday and today...

i pulled myself to the nearest shop i can find...well it's a beauty college or something...i sat down in the parking lot...i needed rest. i was about to puke on the grass...i felt weak...suddenly i had a stomach ache and went inside to the beauty college, breathing quite heavily as if i was about to die.

the cashier looked at me in surprise. i tried to speak out...and i managed to get them out "Restroom, please."

The woman immediately pointed to the back. Perhaps it was for employees only, but I had an emergency. I felt as if I would not be able to go home.

I rushed into the restroom. Ugh. The toilet was all dirty, but I didn't care. I stayed in there for fifteen minutes. While I was in there, I thought I might have to call my bf to drive me home. Then again, if i texted him, I would have to make all kinds of shortcuts in words and he's defintely not going to figure it out. I don't have any more minutes to call. Thus, I waited until I regained my balance and a bit strength. I got out...walked to the bus stop, bought some food to help me refresh. However, 410 more calories. ugh. how lame.

i made it home though...

wonder what's he doing home so late...it's six...i would feel suspicious right now...

but...whatever...simply dead...if he does anything...sooner or later i'll know...and the more i feel insecure...the more i'm going to follow my instincts which are telling me things that i hope are not true.

"He shouldn't be making you worry about things that shouldn't even occur."

so like...i was at the one place...two couples were in the store. one couple, the girl was choosing a bunch of things...those cute contact lens case...the mirror i liked...an expensive wallet...and her bf was with her and he didn't seem to mind even though she was being a bit spoiled. yet, she's loved.

i'm not spoiled...i wonder if i'm more appreciated by my own bf for that...

he even looked for things for her...offering this and that...kind of cute. he seems to know exactly what she likes.

as for the other couple...dang...the bf was staring at me...bad bad bad

then again, the gf didn't seem to love the guy anyway. she was just walking around...choosing this and that...seems like she's with him for things? the girl was looking at another guy too.

unfaithful couple.

i felt as though i wanted to walk up to the guy's face and ask, "Don't you have a gf?"

*sigh* but then they were both unfaithful.

i hope...my lover isn't like that....i hope he is faithful and will always be that way...

i guess if i was unfaithful...then i wouldn't care...but i'm just a devoted lover...

that's who i am

so tired..