♥ Daily Blog: Ah...What a Night

so finally i had my room done.

now i'm working on this one single thing took me 12 hours so far -_-

oh wells. one thing came out nice though.

now I must wake up early (if i can go to sleep once i get this done) and come out and get my present...add the stone...water tofu...and...call him quickly as possible before parents wake up.

anywho...or i'll just call him now lol

bleh..well ok

later

*yawns* no sleep much this week

ah...i didn't know my lover would be having this side of him -_- i love him too much already and now i love him much much more...how much love can I have for him?

I think I'm about to fall madly in love with who he is right now -_-

ah...harder for me now...why oh why...still...it's too late...

he'll be alright. i trust him. i can't believe he went through a lot of trouble...i hope he wasn't lying o.o it sounded so....good...can't be true...can it?

He's so gentle to me now...kind of melts my heart and i'm beginning to heal a little bit from the past...just a bit...i hope he's not faking?

well i hope this is who he really is...i think there's much more to him...maybe...just maybe...if he had shown this side to me earlier...i would have taken a different route...

so genuine...i really hope he is...no masks...no faking...

=/

Anyway, I think I'm getting soft. Even when I sound harsh and seem a bit pissed, he just ignores it and says a lot of sweet but honest and genuine things. He's amazing...I knew he had this side of him...but i never thought that he would find it in himself o.o However, he's not as open...I don't even know what's he doing when he's silent, etc. If only all of his good qualities happen all at once...if only I can get the core...darn...I'd probably be so happy if all of that happened...so happy that I'll start singing and humming wherever I go and can't stop smiling. And then I'll be so happy that I'll be able to make him happy with my optimistic attitude.

Yeah...I'm quite eccentric. When I'm pessimistic, I'm wayyy down. But when I'm happy, I'm super duper optimistic.

And when I'm "eh...", then I'm just in between?

I'm going to miss him very much...very very very much.

I love his kind and gentle personality. If onlly things came out as planned...but oh well...i wonder if he'll like my things...*sigh*

or does he prefer me to buy things instead of making?

hm...idk...

oh well.

I just love him so much. I think...as the time passes...we will both grow together...

But now? I'm afraid it's too late? I'll just have to see...am I?

No matter what happens...I'll always love him...always. I'm so glad to have him as the person that I will forever love.

Well...one thing's proven...if only it were proven earlier...maybe I would have taken a different direction.

Past still haunts me...

But i'm a bit better now..not sure how he did it...but then again...he was never sorry...

eh

but I'm trusting him while feeling insecure...it's going to take a lot...for me to feel secure...still i love him...but when feeling insecure at the same time...it hurts me...i shouldn't be worrying...yet I am.

Well...what to do now?

I don't know. All I know is...I love him and I trust him...and I'm glad to have seen one thing proven...I hope...he won't forget me or break his promises...no...i'm sure...if he truly loves me...things are just growing brighter...

I hope...he won't forget me...I hope...he won't do something that will hurt me...something that I don't like...I hope...

I wonder what he will do on Thursday...would he go anywhere...who would he be with? Would he stay at home and think of me? Would he be reminscing?

What would he do? Would he go the park alone and think?

I hope...he will be okay....


I need time to change who I am...