"Quit being sad, quit being different, be like me." No. I'll never listen to anyone again on how I should be. If I am a freak, then so be it. I rather become a freak in order to keep my own identity. I remained nonconforming even after punches and kicks, so words cannot get to me.
People are the same. They are facades of what everyone else wants them to be, and then selfishly act on their own when no one else is looking. I’m buried beneath memories and constant fiction. I don’t want to be part of anything else, because I'm my own guise, and I’m fine with weird dreams telling me how I should feel about people.
T: hey wats ur id number
J: why?
T: cause its my class thing
T: u put the id number of the person ur dating xP
J: i thought u said it was for a class thingy
T: haha it is
T: all the senior couples do it xP
T: well even though i might not be able to sleep i'm gonna try anyways xD
J: lol u should be sleepy and why aren't u able to sleep? o.o
T: haha kinda happy-ish xP
T: <3 u jen xP
T: haha don't cry too much :P
J: ptsh i won't tell u if i do or not
T: haha i'll be there for u if u cry
T: haha u don't have to agree with me ( i know some songs are emo-ish) but if u really do like them then that's great :]
T: i like u to express urself around me, i don't want u to limit urself xP
T: u gave me some extra time to sleep =]
T: hahah i knew u could wake me up b4 i oversleep :]
J: :] haha didn't u ask anyone else?
T: nopes. i trust u <3
T: well ur a sweet person :]
J: idk about that but if u say so
T: u might not see it but i do
T: haha i don't care what other ppl think, but i do with u xP
T: awh well it's unlikely that i would leave u
J: lol we'll see
T: u are soo close to my perfect person
J: I told u...i have flaws too
J: we all do
T: i know
T: but ur close enough to make me try xP
T: AND i'm a picky person too
J: but this is who i am
J: all that i can be
T: and that's all i ask xP
T: but who knows u might change during the time ur with me xP
T: and turn out to be perfect
T: i'll ease u hopefully
T: when did u notice? xP
T: and wat exactly did i do to get ur attention? xP
J: well to me, i don't really like someone until i know the person for who he is
J: so usually the first time, it would be a simple thing
J: with ur case, humor
J: and it just builds up from time to time
J: but i didn't want to do anything about it
T haha well tbh i knew that u liked someone
T: i didn't know who...
T: but then around oct...
T: i kinda picked up that it could be me
T: but i didn't want to look like an idiot and jump to conclusion
T: so i waited for enough clues to be sure xP
T: and yd i don't think i could take it anymore xP
T: the clues add up and i was more sure than ever
T: So i had to do something xP
T: but the main point is that we are together and that's all that matters to me xP
T: im sorry but i tend to shut off some of my surroundings when i'm with u xP
T: i like a stuffed jen :p
J: i hate you (expression) for watching it without me. we should watch it together so u won't leave me when u die.
T: awh that's really sweet
T: but if i die i won't take u with me xP
J: ptsh so ur making me miserable
T: haha you would be miserable without me? xP
T: haha well i would be miserable without u <33
T: haha as u know ur happiness makes me happy xP
T: well i'm selfish and i want to make me happy
T: and if u happy then i'm happy
T: so i have to make u happy to make me happy
T: so therefore i am selfish xD
T: ptsh i'm not doing it for u, i'm doing it out of my own selfishness
J: i can be happy haha but its rare that im truly happy
T: haha it will be my mission to achieve it
T: anything to make u happy :]
T: haha to me ur funny xP
T: cause u make me laugh and smile
T: ur rxn to me is funny xP
T: when i tease u xD
J: lol that means u'll poke back
T: haha naw
T: i'll grab u xP
T: well i'm being mean cause i like u xP
T: haha u know what?
T: ur the first person that i have 100% of my feelings for xP
T: haha but it sucks in here xD
T: cause i don't get to hug u when i was happy xP
T: haha if i do it would it make u happier? xP
T: haha i want to make u happy
T: haha but if that day comes i'm only buying present for one day xD
T: but i'll remember all 3 day xD
T: haha i like u to be more playful xP
T: haha well i'm gonna be playful with u xP
T: if u respond then its ur choice :P
T: haha hey i'm gonna use ur playlist to keep company while i'm doing it kays? xP
J: i'll go to sleep at 12 today then
J: but just today
T: haha yay! i'll go to sleep when u do
J: u can go to sleep early
T: haha i'll go when u go
T: then i have a meeting on wednesday thursday friday
T: with jennifer nguyen xDD
J: well poking doesn't really work for me :] so i'm safe
T: haha unless i find a spot
T: then ur mine >:]
T: haha u know wat?
J: what?
T: ur closer to "perfect" than i thought :P
J: ur words are meaningful and sometimes they come in at exactly the right time
T: well i'll still hold u cause i liike to xP
T: haha keeping u warm was my excuse
T: i like to hold u xDD
T: haha remember to stay warm, can't have u sick xP
T: haha well if u are sick then i will be xP
T: haha cause i'm always near u xD
T: then i'll be infected xD
J: what's so cute about the current one
T: cause of the music and ur voice :]
J: lol i agree with music but not my voice haha
T: haha well it is sweet and soft
T: like when i lie on u today xP
T: i could probably sleep there if ud let me xD
J: plus ur using me as something to sleep on o.o
T: haha cause ur soo comfortable :] and soft xP
T: haha driving my gf home isn't a problem xP
T: having her kidnapped on the way home is a problem xP
T: i'm totally in love with u and no one else :P
T: well i don't want to attract other girls xP
T: id rather spend the attraction energy pulling u closer haha
T: haha but u won't let anyone steal me right? like i won't let anyone steal u xP
J: all i know is that i'll stay with u :]
T: haha awh
T: I LOVE U JEN <3 xP
J: eh? did i say something that u love?
T: haha ur faithfulness
T: haha well i'll be faithful to u xP
T: if u are faithful to me and as long as ur mine :P
J: lol i've been faithful to someone for three years even though i didn't go out with him
J: if i'm going out with u
J: what do u think? :]
J: lol u know i'm all yours
T: haha well i hope ur feelings are true to me too, and i'm betting my life it is
T: haha be who u are, and i will love u for a LONG time
T: i ran up a curb today xDD
T: i think i was thinking of u xDD
T: relationship is all about trust, so as of now i'm throwing all my doubts about u xP
T: u store up ur emotions, and when u actually get a guy ur gonna pour all ur emotions on him, and he will be one lucky guy
T: and i'm glad to be that guy :p
T: and remember...
T: I LOVE U!! :P
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sometimes i wonder why.
I wonder if he is IN love with me like the first time he asked me out. Loving someone is not as joyful unless you're IN love with that person as well...
I wonder...do i have a purpose to stay in California? If I do, I'll fight for it. But...if I don't....would it be best for me to leave?
