♥ Daily Blog: kaching pt.2

I just wish that he doesn't hang out with other girls whatsoever. Especially one on one. Driving girls isn't the only thing that bothers me. Even if he doesn't drive them, he can still meet up with them or her (one girl) to hang or whatever. I just can't believe that he would go out and hang with another girl other than me.

*sigh* I even rejected some guys' offers to hang with me outside. Now, I'm not so sure what my action in doing that proves. I rejected "Let's go grab some boba" and "Want to eat somewhere?" and "Come on I owe you a lot."

eh...he fulfilled something for a girl while he didn't even fulfill the guitar situation that has to do with me.

Should I still talk to this "stalker" guy....he did say some things that I never thought of...

eh..should i ignore that guy's im or not

>.< hm...but my "supposedly bf" talks to that one girl a lot too (or girls)
>.< hmmmmm bleh idk anymore.
ticket ticket...must call for a ticket... D: i woke up crying today
OKAY Concert! Must take a break from all these "guys" *sigh* seriously i'm not attractive...

"hahahaha dude if T*** stays who he is and continues to make you miserable over a stupid thing like girls, one of these days another guy will come and take advantage of those flaws and try to win you. you're like so rare to find. i mean, cmon, you're the weirdest girl i know. i tell you to go check out guys, but all you look at besides your celebrity is him. and now other guys are checking you out and what's even worse is that you're in a confusing state. i'm on nobody's side, but as a type of friend of t***'s, i hope he realizes the good luck he already has before it's too late. tbh, i think i favor him more than your 'stalker.' but hey...now to think about it...you're having more admirers now than ever. -__- maybe i shoud be like as faithful as you are. seems to me that your type of faithfulness is like 'a must have' for most guys. i envy you jennn!"

*sigh* seriously, she shouldn't envy me.

"really jen, if i were a guy and if he doesn't want you, then I WILL! xD"

"uh...," I just laughed.

"lol look around. do you see any pretty girl (without make up) who IS faithful and DON'T check out other guys? Do you see any girl who is faithful and nice and IS also pretty? I mean, looks may not matter that much, but if there's such a person who has BOTH natural beauty and personality, of course we would go for that person. I'm tellling you, you're the only one i know who doens't check out other guys. I'm telling you, you're very pretty. Your morals are spectacular. I'm really glad to have such a beautiful looking AND sweet friend. i don't understand why you have to go through all this. There are much better looking guys, and one of them will love you just the way you want to be loved."

"lol he looks handsome to me. sure, he may not be photogenic or has a work out body, but there's something inside of him that i love. i know that he isn't good-looking in general, but in my eyes, he is. so if one day something happens to his face, do you really think that I will leave? no, because i know what he used to look like, and heck, that same thing inside of him will make me continue to love him."

"AWW...how sweet! *sigh* you have both looks and personality. you're just an insecure girl, and that's understandable. but insecurities can be settled. you know, there's no point in being with a perfect person if feelings aren't mutual. so i guess...even if there is a perfect guy for you, you might not love him with the same true love that you love the guy right now."

"if only the guy i love loves me the way i want to be loved, huh?"

"well no offense, but if he doesn't realize what he has, then i really think he's blind."

"hey...don't say that. maybe he doesn't care if a girl is faithful or not."

"you know what, he's an adult now. he should be mature to know what's right from wrong. who would NOT care to have a faithful person or not. even though i want to be as faithful, pretty, and loving like you are, i can't. this is your personality that is very unique that no OTHER girl can have. you are one in gazillions of girls. all i can hope for you now is that the person you love DOES love you like you want to be loved and stops making you feel insecure."

"stop compllimenting me," i uttered.

"it's true. you deserve it. whoever you pick, i hope he sees how lucky he is and returns that luck to you. idc about you deserving a better guy anymore. i just want you to be happy with the person that YOU want. besides, even though your personality pisses me off when you're sad or whatever, when you're happy, YOU really make the other person feel happy. so if he can make you feel secure and happy, he's going to see the side of you that he has never seen before and it's going to be very worthwhile. perhaps he doesn't deserve you, but YOU deserve to be loved and happy from the person that YOU choose."

My mother said something interesting to me today..."It's better to choose someone who loves you more than you love the person. You are a lady, and it's good to have a gentleman. Even though a relationship with true happiness with the person you truly love and who truly loves you too is the best, chances for that is rare. If two true lovers can understand each other's needs despite their differences and act upon them, then it's a relationship worth to go for. If the guy will give up anything just to make his lover happy, then he truly loves you. And if he changes for you, he needs to understand why and isn't doing just for you. He should change for you, for the happiness in the relationship, and for his love for you. He should understand clearly why, otherwise he'll be back to himself after a few months, days, or weeks. After all, it's always better to be with someone whom you have true love for and with someone who truly loves you the same as well. However, it's better to be loved more."

So I told her, "But that will not be mutual."

"Well, I know it's better to be loved more by someone whom you truly love already, but the thing is, will that happen? If you know what true romance and love is, usually the man loves the woman more, and that's when life is worthwhile. But, not every girl can have that."

*sigh* I just want to be loved more by someone i truly love. Why can't it be like that...why do dreams don't come true...I just want two simple things in life....

1) To have love at its best which includes: being happy with someone i truly love, being loved more by someone i truly love, and live a happily ever after romantic life.

2)successful with songs, stories,etc.

eh...these are the things that i want in life...all that i need to be happy and lucky for the rest of my life...

EXAMPLES:

The Notebook, HYD, SP, Delightful Girl = TRUE lovers BUT the guy loves the girl more. He loves the girl unconditionally and NEVER gave up on aiming for a happy love with the person he TRULY loves. That's how I want things to be like...

idc if movies are just movies. Our lives are like scenes for a movie too. IDC what ppl say...and I know that life like those movies can be achieved. If two people really aim for happiness and believe in happiness in love, then that goal can be achieved quite easily.

so like...i noticed that i've been writing in this blog a lot lately. guess what? my pages ran out so now i have to temporary use this blog to record my LIFE D:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The moment I saw your picture, my heart skips a beat. I love you so much. I can't believe that that's really you. It's my loss. You are my perfect imperfect person," he said to her, trying to calm down.

She just laughed, blushing.

"If you were mine, everyday I would pick you up from work. You can control me, anything. I trust you, and I would do anything for you. You're so beautiful...and I just love who you are. We would go the movies at night, being in each other's arms. We would spend the evening on the seashore at the beach, and we would go to an Italian restaurant...staring into each other's eyes over the candlelight. "

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IDK anymore D: concert concert...ticket...ticket...i'm sooo afraid of love =/

~jen-jen