♥ Daily Blog: Untitled

I would give up my own happiness if I could relive them again, because I know that I'll be happy once more.

Through one thing, it wasn't the same. I want to relive the short period that began right after the day where my esteem rate was below one

I thought I could see him again, but...was he really back? This person seemed like him, and I was convinced until the very last thing he did. The way he did it, it was different. Out of all things, this action he did was the only thing that proved to me that he was gone. I should have known all this time. No matter how silly or fairytale like it may seem, a kiss really does show something...indicate something. That was the only thing that suddenly turned my world upside down.

I feel...neglected, rejected, and disconnected. He's starting to become cold. When I really need someone to talk to late at night, there is no one really.

I have found someone who made me realize that I did have a chance for love. He's gone.

I want to relive those days.

He's gone. Why do I keep saying that? Like all writers do, I try to prove a point. Like all poets, the use of repitition has a purpose.

I can't be sure if he's gone or not. I overlooked something....a kiss. The last one...it was different. What I analyzed...either his feelings for me decreased, he has doubts, or....he decided to shield something from me.

Tell me this isn't real. Tell me this is all a nightmare. Tell me that when I wake up he is really still there. Right? He's still there, right?

If he isn't, I think my soulmate is gone.

lol...

one, I try something that will make me fall into a coma.

two, i go bye bye.

three, i mask myself.

Overall, I know I shouldn't...but I'll wait for one more day....one more day, one more thing..to make me completely confirmed that he really is gone. Or...he really isn't, and he was just taking a vacation. lol if that's the case, how dare he took a vacation without dragging me along =OO
ehh...well...i'm just trying to cheer myself up.

One more day, one more thing.

Before that, let's go with choice number one.

Okay, I'm going to walk four miles to a store taking an empty route. If nothing happens, then I guess I can wait for another day to finally have my mind accept what the truth really is.

Choice two...will there be one or not?

Choice three...will there be one or not?

I shall start walking. Now, I doubt I'll fall into a coma, but who knows? That's by chance right. So in reality, choice one and choice two can occur. LOL

I am blind. I am stupid.

However, there's one thing that I like about myself. I like the fact that I have unconsciouly opened myself toward him.

lol...perhaps he had loved me more than I loved him. Wait, no...that person is gone. This new person may not love me as much. lol

Start walking. Last blog? Who knows. Eh...I still haven't updated my camp stuff...oh well. I'll set them up and they will be posted somewhere next week automatically. So no matter what happens, yeahh.

(: jen-jen