♥Daily Blog: Living

As I scroll through the birthday pictures, I saw him in some of the photos.
It was nice to see him in some way though.

I found out that he had never once said nice things about me; unlike me, who always say good things about him (well..if the guy's ur bf...why do u want to say bad things about him?), he thinks i'm crazy etc.

He may be good looking, but underneath that, he's not really who he seems to be. I always thought that he was the type of guy who knows how to keep things to himself. If you love someone, why would you go around telling people how annoying that person is...giving a negative image toward that person?

It's not love.

"He was actually a better person when he was with you. Also, when he was with you, he can actually control himself. Now, talking to girls and being around them...there's no limit. Chaos."

I wasn't hurt, actually. After finding out a side of him I never knew, I suddenly felt bitter.

If I had known what types of things he said about me...that he was the one who made others hate me...I would have never pursued and tried.

Then again, I don't really care if people hate me or not...I only care about the reasons that they hate...whether the reasons are valid or not.

But whatever. I never quite like my high school anyway.

Although I am quite hurt from the relationship, I am quite...happy also!

Yesterday, I found out that one of my "acquaintances" has a gf.

He thanked me, though. At first I wasn't sure for what, but he then later explained. Apparently, he had been learning from the "mistakes" from my relationship.

One of the things he learned is...honesty.

He told me that he's been telling his girlfriend EVERYTHING...and he would call her...won't keep her waiting...and stuff.

"I don't want my relationship with my girlfriend to end up like yours."

And so...he's been extremely honest...doing the complete OPPOSITE things from what Tuan did.

And he thanked me...that it was all thanks to me...that he can now know what to do...in order to make his relationship last.

I felt...a lot better when he told me that. "I wish I had been a better person..," I mumbled.

"A better person? I thought you had been a great person."

^_^

I was the committed one...so of course the things that the person i love does...affect me a lot.

"It wasn't your fault, Jen. You couldn't help being insecure and paranoid. A boyfriend who really loves you will not make you feel that way."

Anyway...

"From what I see, he has moved on a long time ago."

And...when I heard that...i just shrugged. Tears? No.

All this time..I thought he loves me and that he's just upset because of the things I do...

But really...he doesn't truly love me...never did...because even if I do become the person he wants me to be, he's not going to want me because he doesn't love me.

Anyway, he blocked me on aim...totally contradicts the "Oh...we'll still be friends. If you ever need anything, I'll still help you with rides and stuff."

AND, KNOW WHAT?

I'm moving on now. I mean...I thought he never said anything bad about me and stuff, you know? Because after all, even though there are problems, I NEVER ever...go around..saying "He's so weird " or "He's so crazy" or whatever.

After hearing...I was shocked. Toward me, he wore a different face. But to others, he wears his true face.

I was so shocked...that...I...started to think about my love for him.

I love him alright...but after hearing what happened....I felt as though I have loved someone I don't know.

I mean...I always go out of my ways and try to be better for him...putting him first and stuff...but...would he ever do that? Would he ever do the same thngs that I did?

Anyway, my acquaintance told me that he'll be transfering to a certain UC because his gf is going there. That is so sweet! That was what I was trying to do with Tuan...but tuan...yeah...

See! That is the sweetest love I have ever observed! I wish my "acquaintance" the very best of luck. I think he has already set his mind on being with this girl in the future (:

Aha...

I'm not hurt anymore! At least, not that much! Why?

Because....my relationship...has set an example.....for others.

After my acquaintance told me that my broken relationship is helping him learn and guiding him in his own relatoinship...

I feel joy.

Because...he's looking at Tuan and avoided doing things that Tuan did. He saw why my relationshp was broken and...he wants to succeed in his own.

(: I'm so glad I can help someone in the end. Sure...I'm hurt...and sure...I may have ended up losing some things...but...

My loss became someone else's gain. And wait...loss? Not really.

I didn't lose anything.

I left before he left me.

Perhaps I lost the guy of whom I thought he was...but...

I can move on now. I can move on because...there is a very good result from my broken relationship.

I ended up helping other couples succeed...I ended up guiding my friend to become a better boyfriend. My ideas aren't insane. My ideas are on the true ground of a successful relationship.

(: I cna't be sad anymore...

I can't be sad because...someone else learned from the mistakes.

And though I'm a bit hurt....

Seeing another couple becoming successful and blissful is so much more worth it. Especially...when I ended up helping someone...

(:

Hm, my grammar is horrible lately...but whatevers.