♥Daily Blog: Beauty

I am not pretty nor attractive. I look at the girls he was (and if he's lying, is) with and I realize that I have no beauty at all.
He goes for beauty, not for faithfulness.
He goes for the feminine look, not for the honesty and love.

I cannot walk gracefully,
My eyes are uneven,
My hair has no style; it is plain, messy, and flat.
My face is full of blemishes and scars
My skin is dry and flaky
My shoulders are broad
My clothes look dull
I don't dress in fashionable clothing
My nails are long
I am sometimes moody, sometimes too sensitive
I yell, I shout, I scream
I'm unpopular

But how can I walk gracefully when I'm always in a hurry?
I was borne with uneven eyes, such misfortune I receive
I have no time to do my hair, for I'll be late for school if I do so.
I have no time to put on make up fully, no time to wash my face all the way,
For I would rather use that time to study, review, and/or finish my homework
I have no time for lotion, and I tend to forget to put it on since I'm always rushing off to school
My shoulders are broad, for I used to carry a very heavy backpack, for I am unlucky to look so masculine
I love to shop for new clothes, but I don't have a lot of money to get the nice looking ones. I am not rich, and I cannot buy myself what I want. I can't get nice jeans, brand name clothes, etc.
My nails are long because though sometimes I have free time, I rather use that time to learn something new or rest than to sit there and do nails.
I am moody, because I am used, unloved, and it's hard to be happy for a long time and be stable since feelings are being played.
I yell, shout, and scream because I'm in so much pain, so betrayed, so unappreciated, so hurt but cannot express the sadness in the sadness language
I am unpopular because I'm not part of the norm, and I strive to be pure.

I am not beautiful, because I want to be on time for school.
I am not beautiful, because I treasure my time and don't waste it.
I am not beautiful, because I cry too much.
I am not beautiful because I am human.

I am not beautiful for being faithful to the person who doesn't love me.
I am not beautiful for being blunt and straightforward.

I can only be beautiful if I am rich and can afford to dress attractively.
I can only be beautiful with nice hair and smooth skin.
I can only be beautiful if I do not cry so much.
I can only be beautiful if I'm popular and part of the norm.
I can only be beautiful if I am stable and have no real emotion.
I can only be beautiful if I am borne beautiful and live a happy life.

I may be too sensitive because I care too much, love too much, and thus get hurt so easily.
I may be moody because people make themselves believable when they're really just pretending. I may be moody because I try to be happy when I'm really not or I am truly happy but then I get hurt.

Maybe I ask too much, but I sure stay faithful no matter what the circumstances.
Maybe I speak too little about how I really feel, but I am completely honest in every word.

And one may hurt me and treat me so poorly, but I will still treat that person the same.

I have no outside beauty whatsoever, because I put more time in doing what I love.
I have no inside beauty whatsoever, because I love too much.