♥Daily Blog: Laughs (Pt.2)

How can he even think about an on and off relationship? No. True love is about continuing and getting it through.

I never really dislike anyone nor do I hate anyone. However, the things certain people do rips the good image that I have of them.

Yet, for some strange reason, he never gets on my side. No, he never sides with me or understands from my pov. He doesn't defend me no matter what. Never.

Even when I had to take up the guy's position (again) by holding his head (in which I've always dreamed that the guy takes things more serious than I do) and looking at him in the eye...he never made eye contact and instead eats. He doesn't look at me straight in the eye and see the meaning in my own eyes.

I love him, but what he's showing me is that he's not committed in this relationship as I thought he was.

Never does he take this relationship seriously and lovingly. Instead he looks away.

How I wish he would be the one who's mature and not me. How I wish he was more mature than I am and loves me the way I want him to.

I am indeed wearing the pants in this relationship.

Oh yeah, he took money from me lol.

Sometimes I kind of wonder if he even truly cares about me. If one truly cares...he or she cares most about the internal needs of the other.

Yet never once does he come talking to me or apologize or even take my hand and stare into my eyes and settle things instead of having to put me into the position in which I have to set things straight.

I'm the only one taking this relationship seriously. Sure there's fun and happy times...but if he keeps ignoring it...and if I feel as though I have responsibility over this...

no matter how much I love him

I can never be with someone who doesn't even truly love me.

He has to understand that if he truly loves me, he wouldn't care facing the most stressful situation. He would fight hard to show me that he loves me and that he cares about my internal needs.

But I don't see that.

i'm wearing the pants. I am not...a lady...

also...why does it seem as though...he's unsure of the future? right now, he for sure that he and i will last...but then there was hesitation...a mix of words...he's stumbling....he is still unsure about the future.

I only want to be with someone who has the potential to be my husband one day...and who is committed and serious about me

he was hesitating. he has never took my hand and do the mature way of assuring me.

apparently, i'm the one who has to settle things.