♥ Daily Blog: Leave it Alone

He just doesn't get it...the things he did are sweet but...

how do i put this..

they're just sweet things to do...

i don't feel like my spirit's floating with joy or idk..

i mean now that i think about it...the only times when i felt it was romantic was...during the luau late in the evening..he and i alone...we held on to each other for warmth...and we hugged passionately...and we shared a heart-melting kiss...i felt as if i was in a beautiful place..and i was drifted off...
another time was during prom..we were alone and the way he tried to steal a kiss from me..was very...idk..romantic?

i guess although it wasn't full of laughter..the things like those made me feel in another place...another fantasy world...if only he were mine during those times..

but...from what i recall that's romantic recently is the birthday...the way he kissed me when i entered..how he got everything planned...the way we walked together...the restuaraunt..etc.

i guess..even when he and i had a picnic..idk..it was more like a hangout...we just talk but..idk...how come we never just lie there and enjoy the nature around us..and mumble to each other...

idk...the things he do..they're sweet...they show care...they are things that he are so wonderful in doing and he has surpassed a LOT of boyfriends and lovers...but...see..
that's just it...they're sweet and show care..i love them...

but i guess...when romance is involved...doesn't it make you feel totally in another world? where everything is blocked out...and u simply feel very light headed and happy...a very beautiful feeling...

because that's the feeling i feel whenever i see romance in certain movies...

i love him a lot...

my wish came true..i found my soulmate...

but how come things are like this?

i wonder if i have sinned too much...

i love him very much...i would take care of him and make him feel relaxed...simply be around him and go to places with him...

but...how come it doesn't feel like being in love with him? i mean..i love him a lot..but...being in love requires happiness and fantasy...romance and simply..idk...a very wonderful feeling..

i love him a lot...but..i feel like i have to work at it...worry...and idk..concern about a lot of things...

it's like...my mind is never cleared for once...i just want peace....