♥ Daily Blog: Just Maybe

Maybe he is sick of a girl who always talk about feelings...

...but if a guy really loves and cares...he wouldn't mind making sure that the girl's feelings are okay and secured...or would he?

I wonder...is he really sick of me talking about feelings?

He is...so close...just so close...

I don't expect anything...I just wish...I dream...that he will finally understand where I'm coming from...how i feel...why i say certain things...i just wish...i dream...

if he can just do all of that...nothing will go wrong...

but fighting for what he thinks without taking my pov into perspective...

is this all...a handful? he's done so much...so much...i appreciate him for all of them...all...but...he has done excessive things...without even giving me the core yet...

if i give up then we won't be as close...but if i keep trying...we are close but at the same time we face these things...

and i have been trying...trying to get the core...but he won't give me it...


i've been trying to get it...now i realize that...it's not about me trying this time...

it's about him not willing to give...

and it's the core...the main...the central...the core...the one thing...that is worth over all the money in the world...

he has given me his heart, trust, and loyalty....and i love him and thankful for that very much...

but there is a core beyond that...there is a core...it is buried deep...

i take a step back and look.

and here's what i realize now:

it's not that i haven't been trying...i've been trying and aiming...but no matter how hard i try...i won't get it because he won't give it.

no matter how hard i try...he'll never see that hard work...

is he sick of me talking about feelings? talking about things that are so deep brings us closer...if he does give me the core...we can talk about so much more...being close at the same time....

is he too busy now...is he having such a hard time with his mother...that i'm being pushed out of the picture?

i'm so afraid...i'm a girl...i'll always love him...but he's a guy...i don't know if he's one of the few guys who are deep lovers...if he isn't...there's a risk...

for a girl...i'm a deep lover....loving too much...sending him long messages on aim when he's offline...

i am...indeed...the person who loves more in this relationship. it would be nice to have my pov be understood and looked into...

I pray that I'll be alive after tonight. I thank for being alive up until now.

I pray that the people I love are safe and sound. I pray that nothing bad will happen over tonight.

I love him. I don't want to leave him when things aren't settled...

So I pray...because remember...

Anything can happen at any moment. That's why keeping our words are important...we must keep the fact that life or death situations can happen any second...

We must be thankful...that we have been able to go through another day...alive...

I only makes wishes for fun now.

I hope...this year will be over soon...

I hope...I am able to give in...i hope to find the strength to give in...

Gentleman always let the ladies have their way...

but i guess...i'm not a lady.

i have to step up and be a gentleman now.

and not talk about feelings, for he may not be who he has claimed to be...and perhaps is sick of me talking about what i find important: feelings