♥ Daily Blog: The O's

I woke up at 9:50 and rushed.

Wore the bracelet he gave me and the dress he bought for me.

for the first time, i actually appreciate who i am.

too bad...i won't be in shape for long...

no one understands how much being able to go to the gym means to me. not even him. it's very important to me bc i get to go there to take my mind off things.

anyway...went to morning glory...nice store...bought some things...he paid...i paid..
then we went to subway...ordered healthy food for him...then we went to tasteas...
i'm not sure if i'm supposed to ask to go here and there...i'm wasting his money...>.< bleh...i'm so stupid.

then we went to mile square park. nice place...could have taken lots of beautiful pictures with my new dress but...eh...maybe i'll wear it to that park when we do go again..

i think i lied today. bad. this is bad. now i feel sooo low bc jen doesn't lie. not good. not good at all.

...got in trouble...been warned...agh...i can't take things like that...now i feel like i'm a bad girl with no morals...

we then took some pics...my camera...broke...

er...ima change to a new topic before i cry again...i don't think i'll ever get over it...it was my special dear camera...the travel camera...

...i dont know how to feel...i'm afraid now...i love that camera...i can never afford another one...

...i felt so out of it...couldn't focus...i cried...first time being so sad about a thing that is NOT related to him.

.........idk what to do...i can't even look at my camera anymore...i'm going to cry...not sure how i'm going to use it or if i'll ever use it again...

but then we went to photosticker...took some pics...i feel bad now...maybe he's just doing that to make up for what he did...

eh...no matter what though...as long as my camera is broken and i can't afford a new one...i'll never cheer up over that matter..

but i'm glad that he tried...i'm happy...for some new photos..

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our talk on aim was...empty...did i do something wrong...was i supposed to force myself not to cry over that camera..i couldn't help it...they just came out...

looks like...he can't really keep what he tells me...

now that this business matter comes up...it counters...what he has promised.

hm...first time he left me without saying good night and sweet dreams.

i wonder...

now i don't feel like making another blog or the business blog...

i'm trying to be happy...but now...no gym...camera broke...got in trouble...empty talks...an irregular leave for the night message?

how am i supposed to be super duper happy when everything went...toward a different direction at the end of the day...all the way to the end?

~jen-jen