♥ Daily Blog: Where?

Everything today was terrible...until he came.

I got in trouble by my dad because I went to school without telling him (I told my sis to tell him though). My mother didn't talk to me and had a cold connection toward me. My sister yelled at me and gave me a tantrum. I stayed in my room, not wanting to go downstairs.

I lost my freedom. But then..he insisted on coming over. Blindly, I let him. He asked me to trust him, and even though I hesitated, I didn't know what else to do but that.

He came over and stood by his car when I got out of the garage. He looked pretty cool just standing like that...

Anyway, so I returned his glasses and initially, my mother said that there was no need for her to come out. But I just said that I was afraid to go out alone and yeah.

He came and talk to her, and it was kind of cute when he spoke so softly.

Anyway...idk...when everything was done, I said bye to him.

Going in, I refused to look at my mother still. However, during dinner, she talked to me and was okay with everything. Strange...

Overall, things were a bit better ever since he came along. I'm glad to have trust him...but then again...that's just that. It's not like he'll do this for other things any other day. It seems to me that this is the only subject that he proved everything straight through...

but overall, he was awesome. i felt like i want to hug him so badly for what he did today. lol he dressed badly today...but i did too haha

it's okay...my feelings for him stay the same...that's one test of true love...when u still feel the same way even though that person looks messy, etc.

anyway...i'm taking an online course for driver's ed.

*sigh* no calculus over summer...what should i do...yes...i'm going to work out and come back in a new form :] all the hard work...the crying...the tears...the heartbreak...all of those...have made me so exhausted...i want to be loved more than i've given love..but idk if that will ever happen for real and stay permanent...

well if i can't move to a new state...the least i can do is refresh. i deserve to rest from all those bad times...i need to work out and do something for my body...for myself...so i can feel good about myself and recover from all those times...i'm afraid of love, now. I admit it. I'm afraid of love now. I used to enjoy it, but now I'm afraid.

I hope someday I can learn to appreciate love like I used to again...but as far as i can see...i'm not loved more than I've given love...idk anymore. I'm afraid.