I was bored, so I cleaned up.
Today was something. I still ponder though...if she was here today...where would he have sit?
Just having him in the back of me takes me back to the very first day.
eh...funny thing is...i always thought that he'll be in the back of me and i'll be in the front of him when my teacher finally let us sit wherever we want. but...looks like no changing seats.
And so I have an answer. Possible, but not certain. Eh, well what's meant to be will always find its way. Besides, if Jen is being optimistic, what she's thinking is that the chance wasn't there because maybe it's better to have that chance at a different time. Well, everything happens for a reason. On the bright side, I found new dramas.
But...something is still bothering me...I'm falling for another guy but with the same person. I think I've been rejected. Apparently, I think I'm the only one who's having feelings. Furthermore, even when someone suggested me to look at other guys, I find myself looking at one guy alright, and he's the same guy. *sigh* why in the word is Jen so faithful. What does she get in the end? Rejection.
ehh..i'm just a very compassionate lover.
Then again..."Just because you care about him initially doesn't mean that you'll be the one loving too much. A guy may not love you before you love him, but when he does love you, it's more than you can ever imagine."
I hope that's true. For now, I'm just going with the flow. I admit that no matter what, I can't seem to call him my "ex." I don't know why, but...I can't consider him as that. I don't know why. That's just the way it is.
OH YEAH! Mr. Z was interesting. Other people such as students and others...well I don't listen to their point of view much..but Mr. Z?? Dang. He came to me and said, "I saw you with your sweetie last time." -__- and like..I was "um..we're not together anymore" but...for some reason...he ignored that. Now, if it was some other person, I won't really care...but...Mr.Z has been going around the world...he has seen what true love is like...when it exists..and where it exists...to some couples, he doesn't say anything about them...but to me...it seems as though he knows something that I don't.
He's gifted on seeing true love. Being so experienced and has gone around the world...seems as though...he knows something that I don't. My sweetie? -_- *sigh* AND THEN...in first period...a classmate of mine handed me an advertisement for prom...saying "are you going? go with your boyfriend." -_-
Overall, my main objective is to see his true feelings. I don't know why, but wherever I go, something comes up. *sigh* true love alright. if only he can accept that.
I admit that there are many times when I don't see him wait for me,etc., my heart beats a little slower and my throat starts to burn.
BUT I won't cry. Maybe every now and then a teardrop will fall...but..I'm not going to cry.
I'm still working on being cold-hearted. Right now, my job is unstable. If I'm completely cold-hearted, then..I guess that's it. But if my heart melts before it can be completely iced, then it's meant to be.
I have hope. I need the magic lamp :] I just wish for a beautiful miracle.
The theme for prom is really something. Maybe I can make a wish to the genie for a beautiful miracle to happen. lol.
It's a DISNEY theme omgosh..I want to be a princess D:
One more blog to post later...ah w.e. i'll be the only one reading these anyway :]]]
