♥ Daily Blog: Fantasy (Pt.2)

My long time crush talked to me and opened up to me for the very first time a few days ago. I must say that his philosophy is quite deep and it seems like talking to me was easy for him since i use philosophies too.
But...it's ironic...bc...it doesn't matter to me if he talks to me or not. besides, he has a girlfriend now. Furthermore, why didn't this happen back then when I still like him? *sigh* there's no effect if he talks to me now anyway.

Another thing. Remember that one guy from the tour whom I embarrassed myself in front of? Well okay, I came back to California and called him and it was 1AM in New York! *sigh* and i remember that i was so nervous, asking him to hang up and don't pick up the next time i call so I can leave him a message. I slightly mention that it was my birthday and that i felt like i had something to do. yeahh that's the guy. the guy who emailed me back and said happy birthday. *sigh*

and after i sent the letter...i kept waiting and waiting..no reply..

and he was only a tiny crush in the summer -_- yet...see how my feelings are for JUST a small crush?

well anyway...it took him almost a year to finally find me on facebook and added me. i don't believe it. why oh why??? why now? because all of this doesn't mean much to me anymore...

i only have one person in mind..and i'm about to freeze up my feelings for good soon...i'm back to where I was...before i met him...and this time...i will freeze up my feelings.

*sigh* lol i wonder if that tour guy ever got the letter rofl. he probably was like "what a weirdo. some girl likes me in one week" hahahaha...well hey...he was so polite..omgosh...

whoa..wait a minute..i remembered that i cried after leaving him o.o

yeah...that was my first love..i didn't do much for my other crush...for that tour guy...i actually looked forward to seeing him everyday during the trip o.o

*sigh* memories..but...no matter what...all of this means nothing

Jen, why do you have to be so devoted?

*sigh* *watches hana yori dango* *watches smiling pasta*