♥ Daily Blog: 13th (Pt.2)

I had a nightmare last night and my sleeping period seemed like eternity.

I couldn't work out today, I felt so tired, and all I could do was sleep.

I didn't eat today either, no meals whatsoever. I didn't feel like it.

I got yelled at today too. Unfortunately, I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a cup of milk. The milk was frozen into ice, and so I tried to drink whatever that was left. That was a big mistake. Before I could do anything or react, the ice broke and the milk below the iced surface splashed out at me. I was soaked from head to bottom. I quickly grabbed a towel and wiped the floor.

Then I went to shower myself. Heh...every clothing piece I wore was soaked... -_- uh...need a new something...

So after I showered, my mother came home and yelled at me since the milk was not completely cleaned. I couldn't take it anymore and simply screamed. Seriously, tell me nicely rather than just yell.

And I cried. I cried and my throat started to burn. I couldn't breathe and I was choking on my own tears. I couldn't breathe at all. I had to lie down for a while and calm down. My heart started to..idk...it hurts.

Every part of me aches. My neck is burning hot.

I refuse to eat.Eating will just point out how much I need food, which will eventually lead to the thought that I need her in order to survive.

I refuse to eat. I'm not hungry anyway. I refuse to drink fluids either. I'm already tired, dizzy, and suffocating...the moment she slapped me, I immediately wished that she'll slap me more. I'm already in pain. Go and slap me, I don't care. She expects me to grow up, saying that all she wants from me is to clean and clean and clean. Yeah, everything seems messy when I had Calculus. I'm cleaning some one at a time. I planned to clean today until that stupid fever showed up.

I respect her feelings, but it's never reciprocal. If I am to live, I can't live like this anymore. Sooner or later, I know that I will be internally ill.

I couldn't breathe.

But why didn't I stop breathing?

Rate for today: 2.5

~jen-jen